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Rob Sylvester

  1. Joe Montana on the pistol offense, the Super Bowl blackout, and that famous salsa stain

    Feb 6, 2013, 11:21 AM EDT

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    Joe Montana

    I had the opportunity to speak via telephone with three-time Super Bowl MVP, four-time Super Bowl champion and NFL Hall-of-Fame quarterback Joe Montana. We talked about the big game, the big blackout, the Big Easy, Colin Kaepernick, the read-option, and his well-received Super Bowl commercial for Tide. Here are the highlights: What did you think…

  2. Novak Djokovic has a better life than you, gets massaged by four babes during event (video)

    Nov 28, 2012, 1:15 PM EDT

    YouTube

    In what should come as a surprise to absolutely no-one, it appears once again that young, rich, handsome, athletic, famous dudes get all the breaks, and most of the women. Just ask Novak Djokovic, the #1 ranked men’s tennis player in the world and modern-day Caligula, as he gets massaged by four gorgeous brunettes in…

  3. “The players wanting in the NHL is making billions”: fan-made rap video on YouTube laments lockout (video)

    Nov 2, 2012, 5:08 PM EDT

    YouTube

    Some of you may not have even noticed, but the NHL is currently mired in yet another lockout, causing the cancellation of all games for the foreseeable future, including the annually-ballyhooed Winter Classic. Others of you have most definitely noticed and have spent the majority of your waking hours since cursing Gary Bettman and the…

  4. Gregg Popovich does not care much for your questions, David Aldridge (video)

    Nov 2, 2012, 3:55 PM EDT

    YouTube

    San Antonio Spurs head coach Gregg Popovich has always had a tenuous relationship with the sporting media, and those of us watching last night’s Thunder-Spurs game were treated to yet another of his humorous tiffs with a sideline reporter, namely TNT’s David Aldridge. Never to be confused for someone who suffers fools, “Pop” does not…

  5. Are we sure Rasheed Wallace wasn’t just back in town? Smoke machine delays Rockets-Pistons game (video)

    Nov 1, 2012, 4:48 PM EDT

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    YouTube

    Quick, what’s the most memorable aspect of any NBA experience? The astonishing athleticism of the gazelle-like players as they bound endlessly up and down the court in perpetual fluidity? Scoping out the big wigs and local stars who adorn the arena’s closest rows from your nosebleed seats in Timbuktu? Or perhaps the scantily clad cheerleaders…

  6. Because regular hockey apparently isn’t hard enough, the Germans bring you hockey on a unicycle (video)

    Nov 1, 2012, 3:55 PM EDT

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    YouTube

    A unicycle has many uses: impressing ladies on the boardwalk, demonstrating man’s superiority over dolphin, ensuring a lucrative circus career… but as a means to play hockey? Thanks to some enterprising (or perhaps just bored) young Germans, the answer is a resounding yes. In the video clip below, you can witness what is being billed…

  7. GOALIE FIGHT! GOALIE FIGHT! Swiss hockey league game erupts into brawl (video)

    Oct 31, 2012, 4:39 PM EDT

    YouTube

    Peanut butter and chocolate, Christina Hendricks, goalie fights. Those, in some order, are three of the greatest things in the world, and while the staff here at Off the Bench are, until tonight’s festivities at least, fresh out of Reese’s cups (and are also banned from going within a collective 600 feet of Christina Hendricks),…

  8. What’s thirty feet tall, extremely flammable, and has zero Tour de France titles? This Lance Armstrong effigy (picture)

    Oct 31, 2012, 3:45 PM EDT

    Lance-Armstrong_AP

    When it comes to demonstrating displeasure with specific public figures or events, few societies are as adept (or dramatic) as the British, well-known for their soccer riots and also for their fondness of effigies– which, for the unaware, are dolls and other visual representations of reviled figures made for the sole purpose of being lit…

  9. Extremely drunk bro wanders onto HS football field, gets laid out by off-duty cop/player’s dad (video)

    Oct 30, 2012, 5:01 PM EDT

    YouTube

    It’s practically a law of civilization, by now– as long as people gather in large groups to watch athletic competitions, other people are going to get stupefyingly drunk and occasionally make their own way onto the playing field. Typically, these buffoons are dealt with by security guards, stadium personnel, and rarely, the players themselves (and…

  10. More Halloween hijinx: Ludacris opts for Anthony Davis and his unibrow

    Oct 30, 2012, 3:50 PM EDT

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    Via Ludacris on Instagram

    Some great Halloween costumes take hours of work, gallons of make-up, and an iron will, and some great Halloween costumes just require a jersey and a well-placed tuft of fake hair. Here to demonstrate the latter is rapper/Law & Order character actor Chris “Ludacris” Bridges, doing his best take on the New Orleans Hornets’ explosive…

  11. There’s a SF Giants championship parody song set to hip, but radio-friendly folk rock, because of course there is (video)

    Oct 29, 2012, 5:14 PM EDT

    The Lumineers

    The Lumineers, a hip, musically talented trio of folk balladeers currently opening up a set of shows for the Dave Matthews Band, are a recent addition to many radio stations and commercial breaks across America, thanks in large part to their minimal but infectious ditty, “Ho Hey.”  The San Francisco Giants, freshly crowned as World…

  12. Our long National nightmare is over: Hulk Hogan settles sextape lawsuit

    Oct 29, 2012, 4:10 PM EDT

    Hulk Hogan Launches His New Book "My Life Outside The Ring"

    It’s the one story that’s been everywhere you look over the past week, threatening to shake large sections of our country to the very core– a terrible confluence of factors, a violent amalgam of pressure and panic that have left many of us up at night, wondering what the final damage will be. No, not…

  13. Like a rap video, in reverse: scantily clad woman spills beer on man (VIDEO)

    Oct 26, 2012, 4:39 PM EDT

    Untitled

    We’ve all been there before. There you are, enjoying a nice brew in peace and quiet, watching Amazonian bombshells in underwear and shoulderpads play something resembling football while you ponder the meaning of life and what exactly Jean-Paul Sartre meant when he said that “every existing thing is born without reason, prolongs itself out of…

  14. “Ma, nooo!”; mother of So. Miss QB arrested at game for defending son’s honor

    Oct 26, 2012, 4:01 PM EDT

    Associated Press

    Ah, mothers. One of the few things shared by every mammal on this planet is that we all have one, and just about all of us have been embarrassed by them one time or another. It’s kind of the deal– they have to incubate us inside their bodies for the better part of a year…

  15. Manteo Mitchell, US sprinter, is almost certainly tougher than you

    Aug 10, 2012, 11:36 AM EDT

    Photo credit: Kirby Lee- USA Today Sports

    We’ve all had tough days in the office – a papercut here, a coffee-burned tongue there, a splitting headache due to the octogenarian secretary who won’t shut the hell up about her cats. But, unless you’re a world-class athlete with thighs of steel and  resolve to match, you probably haven’t had to endure what American…

  16. Yikes! The King of Sweden also the King of coordinated shirts, thunderous yelling

    Aug 10, 2012, 9:28 AM EDT

    Olympics Day 12 - Equestrian

    Check out this photo (linked) of King Carl XVI Gustaf of Sweden, sitting with his wife, Queen Silvia, enjoying an Olympic men’s team handball match between his fiefdom and Denmark and generally looking like some ghastly combination of a J. Crew Seniors catalog and that creepy villain from Ghostbusters 2. “Hey Denmark! Something is rotten…

  17. Pimp cups, juice assault, and representing yourself in court: The hilarious Fred Davis story

    Jun 29, 2012, 1:24 PM EDT

    124945036_crop_650x440

    Aside from posting respectable numbers of 59 catches and 796 yards in only 12 games last season, Washington Redskins tight end Fred Davis is probably best known for receiving a four-game suspension from the NFL for testing positive for marijuana (hence the only 12 games part). Not anymore. Washingtonian Magazine has released the delightfully absurd…

  18. Finally, a crotch shot to be proud of: “Chicharito” nets goal against Honduras with his groin [Video]

    Jun 25, 2011, 4:57 PM EDT

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    chicharito

    Typically when we run a story about a soccer playing scoring with his groin, we’re talking about WAGs. Sometimes, life can take a turn for the literal. As seen below, Mexican footballer Javier ‘Chicharito’ Hernandez found himself in front of the goal and in perfect position to score following a corner kick in extra time…

  19. Jim Riggleman knows how to resign in style

    Jun 25, 2011, 1:09 PM EDT

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    riggle

    What now-departed Washington Nationals’ manager Jim Riggleman lacks in tact, he clearly makes up for in style — as in the blonde, pearly white-smiled style of the presumed co-ed Riggleman is pictured with here the night after his “now or never” ultimatum to team management left him unemployed and with a lot more time on…

  20. Scottie Pippen, politician? Hall-of-famer flip-flops on LeBron vs. Jordan “debate”

    Jun 25, 2011, 12:37 PM EDT

    Scottie-Pippen

    I put the word “debate” in quotation mark in the headline because as a basketball-obsessed child of the 90′s, the notion of any player with no rings and a glaring lack of competitive spirit (joining up with your rivals? Pshhh) being compared favorably to MJ is about as ludicrous as saying Miracle Whip is better…

  21. Pictoral proof: Phyllis from The Office was once big-haired NFL cheerleader

    Jun 25, 2011, 10:00 AM EDT

    phyllis

    As our esteemed editor Rick Chandler made note of on Friday, there’s been a surprising revelation for fans of NBC’s long-running sitcom The Office: program stalwart & favorite put-down target of the lovably sociopathic Michael Scott, idle-minded Dunder-Mifflin employee Phyllis was once an NFL cheerleader. Well not the character, but the actress who plays her…

  22. WSJ study finds Athletes’ tweets to be unsurprisingly self-referential

    Jun 19, 2011, 4:48 PM EDT

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    shaq

    As someone who considers 98% of the content on Twitter to be meaningless flotsam cast upon a sea of constant chatter (and the other 2% to be crotch shots), I pity the Wall Street Journal staffer who had to scan 1,949 tweets from  the “five active athletes in each of the four major sports with…

  23. Role Call: Meet your idiot Vancouver rioters, most of whom are still probably drunk

    Jun 19, 2011, 1:18 PM EDT

    253672_10150198298241525_596581524_7318242_1802903_n

    The one major drawback to the digital age? It’s a lot harder to get away with good ol’ anonymous mob violence. Wait, that’s not a drawback at all. Technology rules. In the now famous riots in Vancouver that occurred after the Canucks blew home ice in Game 7 of the Cup Finals, hordes of idiots…

  24. Well, at least there’s some drama at the U.S. Open– local children cited for charity lemonade stand

    Jun 19, 2011, 10:10 AM EDT

    pga_a_lemonade_sy_300

    What’s a weekend in D.C. without some bureaucratic controversy and over-priced drinks? While Rory McIlroy’s best Tiger Woods impression and subsequent 8-stroke lead heading into the final round of this year’s Open has sucked most of the drama* out of a typically drama-filled four-day event (*unless he chokes), leave it to the local kids of…

  25. Straight from the kissers’ mouth: Vancouver riot couple gives interview [Video]

    Jun 18, 2011, 5:01 PM EDT

    Riot Breaks Out After Game In Vancouver

    Well, long after everyone has forgotten what a “Roberto Luongo” is, the real stars of the 2011 Stanley Cup Finals turns out to be the kissing couple from the riotous Canadian aftermath that befell the lovely city of Vancouver following Tim Thomas’ red-white-and-blue stoning of the Canucks in Game 7. As you no doubt by…