Archives › Rick Chandler
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Bicycle theft vigilante justice is never pretty (don’t steal bikes, bro) (video)
Apr 25, 2012, 12:30 PM EDT
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We don’t condone wanton vigilante justice here at Off the Bench, as you know. But it’s hard to feel sympathy for this man (with helmet) who tried to steal a bicycle, and was caught before he could make his getaway. For one thing, tuck in that shirt. For another, don’t steal bikes, bro. It could…
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Flower Power: Chicago study says whiff of jasmine increases batting performance
Apr 25, 2012, 11:31 AM EDT
Has baseball found a legal, all-natural alternative to steroids? A study by the Smell & Taste Treatment and Research Foundation in Chicago (my alma mater) concludes that a whiff of jasmine increases the batting performance of baseball players. The study, performed by members of the Chicago White Sox, had some players using jasmine-scented wristbands, and…
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Kentucky’s Terrence Jones delivers flowers to cheerleader he ran over in Final Four
Apr 25, 2012, 10:49 AM EDT
There’s nothing quiet like the basketball rivalry between Louisville and Kentucky — it’s like an episode of Justified, only more violent. In what other rivalry would you find two opposing fans in a fistfight during dialysis treatment? But suddenly amidst all the partisan commotion comes this refreshing bit of Bluegrass State detente: Kentucky forward Terrence…
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You may laugh at Alex Buccilli’s bizarre batting stance, until you realize that it’s probably the secret to his success. The junior designated hitter was told during the off-season that there was no roster spot for him on the Coastal Carolina team, but wouldn’t go away. He not only made the roster, but now has…
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Morning Mail: Is chessboxing the next big sport? Your move, 2016 Rio Olympics
Apr 25, 2012, 9:00 AM EDT
You may have already heard of chessboxing — in which contestants alternately batter each other with gloved fists and chess pieces in a boxing ring. You’ll be happy to know that it’s growing in popularity in Europe — mostly England and Germany — and there was just a big tournament in London which was covered…
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National crisis averted: Canseco’s Twitter account is back
Apr 24, 2012, 5:50 PM EDT
Only Jose Canseco could break Twitter. After his account went AWOL for a few hours earlier today, Canseco’s Twitter is back on the air, and it’s as nutty as ever. And I notice he’s being a little more careful about the women he retweets.
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Girl takes to YouTube to proposition last pick in NFL draft (video)
Apr 24, 2012, 4:50 PM EDT
“I’ve got this place in my heart for the humiliated, the neglected, the last pick on the playground kind of guy …” And with that, some chick on YouTube who calls herself Mrs. Irrelevant has made an indecent proposal to the last pick in the NFL Draft, whomever that may be. As she tells it:…
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Soccer authorities decide not to punish players for feigned smooch
Apr 24, 2012, 3:49 PM EDT
Alternate headline: Not that there’s anything wrong with that. After first throwing a fit of the highest degree, the head of the Mexican Football Federation’s disciplinary committee now says that he will not punish two players who pretended to kiss each other following a goal. Seems only fitting: no action for no action. Photos/video: Here’s…
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RIP, Jose Canseco’s Twitter account: You flew too closely to the sun on wings of crazy
Apr 24, 2012, 2:34 PM EDT
Of course it’s entirely possible that it’s all a technical glitch, or like the Lingerie Football League, it could just be on hiatus. But it appears right now that Jose Canseco has deleted his Twitter account. And a nation weeps. (UPDATE: It’s back!) Canseco’s Twitter is a warped piece of Americana: a window into a…
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I’ll have a bust of Robert Griffin III made of smoked BBQ chicken, to go
Apr 24, 2012, 1:02 PM EDT
As you know, one of Subway’s big promotions each year is a soon-to-be-drafted NFL spokesman who poses beside a bust of himself molded from sandwich ingredients. Last year it was the tasty-yet-horrifying Chicken Salad Mark Ingram, who scared children and attracted all manner of hungry dogs and pigeons. Hoping to improve on that bizarre display,…
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Poll: Floridians support George Zimmerman more than the Marlins or Rays
Apr 24, 2012, 12:17 PM EDT
Well, this is odd: In a recent poll, 26 percent of Florida residents say that George Zimmerman is innocent of second-degree murder in the shooting death of Trayvon Martin. Know that for a fact, do you folks? Seems to me the “not sure” box is just begging to be checked on that survey. But this…
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Philip Humber read the Top Ten list on Letterman Monday night (video)
Apr 24, 2012, 11:39 AM EDT
“Top Ten Thoughts That Went Through Philip Humber’s Mind During His Perfect Game”. 4. “Grab some pine, duck lips!” Includes gratuitous rip on the Mets.
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The Terrible Revenge of Mr. Fox: London Olympic shooting venue attacked by foxes
Apr 24, 2012, 11:03 AM EDT
Yes, the buildings look weird (the complex has been dubbed Teletubby Land), but do you know what’s a lot weirder? Foxes invaded the Olympic shooting complex last night and trashed the place — chewing cables, wrecking microphones, digging holes and even “soiling” a podium at the Woolwich Royal Artillery Barracks during a test event. Was…
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Controversial cheaters web site offers $1 million to anyone who can prove they’ve slept with Tim Tebow
Apr 24, 2012, 10:05 AM EDT
You may remember Ashley Madison.com for such hits as the Tom Brady vs. Eli Manning cheaters poll, and offering $25 million to put its name on the new Meadowlands Stadium. It’s a site for people who want to cheat on their spouses, so the lack of shame here is no surprise. Which brings us to…
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Morning Mail: Calling this basketball shot a Hail Mary doesn’t really do it justice
Apr 24, 2012, 9:00 AM EDT
We take you now to Estonia, where BC Kalev is playing BC Tarvas in a Baltic Basketball League game. Armands Skele of Kalev is probably just trying to save the ball from going out of bounds, when he flips it backwards and … well, just watch the video.
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Why yes, that is Cal Ripken Jr. with a giant pink Energizer Bunny
Apr 23, 2012, 6:04 PM EDT
Do you see it too? Thank God. I was concerned there for a minute. Here’s the former Orioles great in Joplin Missouri with a giant, pink Energizer Bunny, rallying the troops during a 13-city tour to help re-build tornado-damaged homes in the south. I’ve often wondered what great things I could achieve if only a…
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Italian soccer fans hold game hostage, demand their team remove jerseys for bad play
Apr 23, 2012, 4:22 PM EDT
This one’s going to be hard for you to believe, but here we go. A group of Italian Serie A soccer fans were so disgusted with the way their team was playing that they began throwing fireworks onto the field, saying that they would not stop until their team removed their jerseys and handed them…
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What do you get when you combine Halloween, water skiing and downhill skiing? I don’t know, but they’re doing it in Siberia. Actually it’s called puddle skiing, and it’s how the folks in Krasnoyarsk, Russia end the ski season. Many attempt to ski down the hill and water ski over the 65-foot puddle to the…
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Two dogs dining in a busy restaurant will make your day … but they never get anything to drink (video)
Apr 23, 2012, 2:02 PM EDT
Not the least bit sports related … unless you’ve ever seen Prince Fielder at the team buffet. This YouTube video has been around for a few months, but I had never seen it. Description: Charlotte & Kristian Septimius Krogh: www.septimiuskrogh.dk and www.charlottekrogh.com Two dogs waiting patiently to get served in “restaurant”, and in spite of…
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German track star fights back against genital photo stalker — shames him on Facebook
Apr 23, 2012, 1:19 PM EDT
How do you fight back against an Internet stalker? If you’re German Olympic hopeful Ariane Friedrich, you post his name and address on your Facebook page. Hey, he’s getting off easy — she had a lot more she could have posted. Friedrich, a German high-jump record holder from Frankfurt, was being bothered by some creep…
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Spanish soccer fans make it rain in Madrid, with tennis balls (video)
Apr 23, 2012, 12:27 PM EDT
Just so you know, there is a sport called soccer tennis, which is played three-to-a-side kicking a soccer ball on a tennis court. But this isn’t it. The La Liga match between Sevilla and Levante in Madrid on Saturday was briefly suspended when fans pelted the playing field with hundreds of tennis balls. According to…
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The pants tent: What exactly is Metta World Peace doing in this photo?
Apr 23, 2012, 11:48 AM EDT
So Metta World Peace says that he did not go nuts — that it was an inadvertent elbow that dropped Oklahoma City’s James Harden on Sunday. But if this photo is any indication, then that’s going to be a tough sell. WTH? I’ve heard of “Talk to the hand”, but not this. Meanwhile, the world…
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Omaha gets Lingerie Football League franchise, while its fully-clothed women’s football team struggles
Apr 23, 2012, 11:04 AM EDT
And so the Lingerie Football League officially invades the Bible Belt. Their new expansion franchise? Omaha, Neb., — possibly the last place I’d have expected to see women in underwear playing tackle football, except perhaps my backyard. The Omaha team, as yet unnamed, will play two home games at the $32 million Ralston Sports and…
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Girl, 13, sues classmate after getting hit in eye with ball during tennis lesson
Apr 23, 2012, 10:06 AM EDT
Two 13-year-old girls playing tennis during school. One gets hit in the eye with the ball. Ten years ago: “Ow, Julia! Be more careful!” Today: “Gawd, Julia … you’ll be hearing from my attorney!” Yes, even though the injury did not require a trip to the hospital, the girl who got hit filed a lawsuit.…
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Morning Mail: Goal! Soccer ball washes up in Alaska, 13 months after Japanese tsunami
Apr 23, 2012, 9:00 AM EDT
A soccer ball and a volleyball apparently were inseparable during a 13-month voyage across the Pacific Ocean, becoming among the first bits of debris to reach the U.S. following the tsunami of March, 2011. David Baxter, a technician working at a radar station on remote Middleton Island, in the Gulf of Alaska, found the soccer…
