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Josiah Schlatter

  1. Bears fans, you crazy: Packers fan had his nose slashed during post-game ruckus

    Jan 24, 2011, 2:13 PM EDT

    eatcheese

    If you’re a Green Bay Packers fan who loves celebrating your team’s Super Bowl berth in an environment where you’ll get the snot removed from your body through bodily harm, boy do I have a city for you! On Sunday, apparently, Chicago treated their Wisconsin visitors to a large helping of insults and violence worthy…

  2. Was Peyton Hillis subjected to reverse racism for being a white running back? He thinks so

    Jan 21, 2011, 2:29 PM EDT

    hillisstiff

    Cleveland was dying for a local sports hero to take their minds off of the LeBron James debacle of 2010, and their cries of despair did not go unheeded as a gigantic lumberjack-man/new golden standard for biceps definition named Peyton Hillis stepped out of the shadows. His only obstacle? Racist linebackers! Huffington Post: SI’s Dan…

  3. Shaq seeks playing time elsewhere; defeats 7-year-old in cookie eating contest

    Jan 19, 2011, 2:48 PM EDT

    shaqlicki

    As the gigantic man I will deem “The Attention Grifting Juggernaught” slowly yet surely ambles toward the finish line of a magnificent career that is getting soiled by his inability to retire, with it comes the apparent realization that he has spent not nearly enough of his time in the public eye defeating 7-year-old girls…

  4. Moreno, Full of Grace: Former World Cup referee is a heroin smuggler

    Jan 14, 2011, 12:42 PM EDT

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    byronheroin

    You remember “European football” referee Byron Moreno, the goat of Italy’s 2002 run at the World Cup who controversially threw out a beautiful fellow named Francesco Totti during a 2-1 loss to South Korea in the round of 16. Well, Italians will be glad to know that he’s facing five and a half years in…

  5. Mark Sanchez’s father eschews the bourgeoisie, hangs out with the drunks at Jets games

    Jan 13, 2011, 12:54 PM EDT

    sanchezfather

    Some players’ families are wearing bright orange approximations of their son’s football uniform or creating garish jersey combination to make sure the national television audience realizes that their brother and boyfriend play on opposite sides like Brady Quinn’s sister did for the Fiesta Bowl in 2005 to squeeze out as much attention as possible during…

  6. Michael Vick and Eagles’ long snapper Jon Dorenbos go head to head in locker room golf

    Jan 10, 2011, 12:46 PM EDT

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    vickgolfing

    Just because Michael Vick and the Eagles were knocked out of the playoffs last night in a crushing defeat that I may never recover from doesn’t mean you guys are done with him for the year. No, there are still many interesting Vick videos left in my brain’s virtual shrine to the rehabilitated one and…

  7. Take a look at LeBron James’s ego in the form of his birthday cake

    Jan 3, 2011, 2:24 PM EDT

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    lebroncake

    Where’s Kwame Brown when you most need him? LeBron turned 26 over the weekend and his cake, which looks like a part of LeBron’s soul, was as ridiculous as you’d expect. I’m still trying to figure out which part of it you’re supposed to eat. It seems like quite the choking hazard. According to Dime…

  8. South Carolina man fails at real-life Frogger

    Dec 31, 2010, 2:25 PM EDT

    seinfeldfrogger

    One of my favorite things to do as a resident of Philadelphia is to show off the amazing traffic hopping skills I’ve developed after three years of living in the city by playing a little traffic Frogger. While other greenhorn street crossers are cowering four feet away from the curb as they mentally prepare themselves…

  9. Nobody in Bengals’ colors seems to be succeeding: Organization sued after skunked fans fall on lady

    Dec 29, 2010, 1:25 PM EDT

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    bengalsfans

    When you invite 70,000 drunk Bengals fans over for a massive three hour party that will most probably end in pitiful defeat, bad things are going to happen. More specifically, drunk fans are going to fall on helpless women and shatter all of their bones. That’s what happened to poor Rebecca Dunn, a Kentucky woman…

  10. The Big Interview: Isaac Bruce on avoiding concussions, Sam Bradford and the rise of Kurt Warner

    Dec 27, 2010, 2:00 PM EDT

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    isaacbrucetd

    Josiah Schlatter: Hey Isaac, I don’t know if I can forgive you for crushing my dreams during your Greatest Show on Turf days when you kept beating the Eagles. Isaac Bruce: Yeah man, a couple times actually. JS: Those teams back in the late 90′s and early 2000′s were so DOMINANT, but how did you…

  11. Diana Taurasi’s positive drug test may mean U.S. Olympic team only wins gold medal by 40 instead of 60

    Dec 24, 2010, 4:56 PM EDT

    taurasihyped

    Diana Taruasi, the consensus best professional women’s basketball player in the world at least until Maya Moore decides to escape from Geno Auriemma’s orb of control, has found herself in another bout of trouble after she was found to have failed a drug test while playing basketball in Turkey during the WNBA offseason. The drug…

  12. VIDEO: Et tu, New Balance? Matt Bonner gets smoked, blames shoes

    Dec 20, 2010, 12:14 PM EDT

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    bonnerbroke2

    Shoe lovers, look away. Things are about to get gruesome. Saturday night’s Spurs-Grizzlies tussle turned tragic when Matt Bonner’s New Balance basketball gliders blew the heck up while Bonner was attempting to guard Zach Randolph, which is weird because guarding Randolph is usually a very stationary endeavor. Bonner’s shoe catastrophe led him to quip after…

  13. Steve Francis begins Chinese basketball career by playing with ice pack on his ankle

    Dec 19, 2010, 5:21 PM EDT

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    francisidiot

    The man they called Stevie Franchise, the supposed savior of the Houston Rockets and former cover star of my favorite basketball video game from the year 2002, “NBA Live 2002″, seems to have fallen on some hard times since his best friend Cuttino Mobley was tragically traded away from his lonesome grasp during the 2004-2005…

  14. VIDEO: New York Rangers’ Dale Weise struggles to do what most have mastered

    Dec 19, 2010, 4:45 PM EDT

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    weisesucks2

    Dale Weise should probably spend a few minutes a day practicing proper Gatorade drinking technique in the mirror to avoid the debacle that happened last night during the New York Rangers’ 4-1 loss to the Philadelphia Flyers that solidified the Flyers’ spot at the top of the NHL’s standings because he sure looked like a…

  15. Troy Punter shows Christmas spirit by growing huge Santa beard

    Dec 19, 2010, 1:33 PM EDT

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    troypuntersanta

    You think Troy’s 48-21 win over Ohio University last night was impressive? You would have thought it was even cooler if you realized their punter Will Goggans spent the long break between the regular season and their bowl game being extremely productive by growing a beautiful Santa beard that will be talked about for many…

  16. Michigan high school girls basketball team cancels practice to shoot deer

    Dec 18, 2010, 4:20 PM EDT

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    ravennablam

    Seems like things are getting pretty out of control up in Michigan these days. For example, Ravenna Michigan’s women’s high school basketball team begged out of practice not because they wanted to paint their nails or catch a midnight screening of the latest Harry Potter movie but because they wanted to spend the first day…

  17. People aren’t happy that Qatar’s 2022 World Cup may be played in winter instead of summer, mess up sports as a whole

    Dec 18, 2010, 3:49 PM EDT

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    angryholloway

    It’s all well and good that Qatar beat out the United States for the chance to host the 2022 World Cup except for one pretty major problem: It’s going to be so excruciatingly hot during the traditional June tournament date that it will be almost impossible to function like a normal human being without succumbing…

  18. Video: The San Jose Sharks’ holiday album is a masterpiece if you have really low standards

    Dec 18, 2010, 3:22 PM EDT

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    sharkssing

    What’s better for team bonding than having the coolest players on the team get together to record an awkwardly hilarious tone deaf holiday album that makes you inexplicably long for autotune? Other than a night that involves unlimited bread sticks, the answer is nothing. Though I don’t understand any of their references because I do…

  19. Danny Woodhead awkwardly tries his hand at selling his own jersey to the hungry public

    Dec 18, 2010, 11:36 AM EDT

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    woodheadsells2

    If you haven’t already realized from the hundreds of hours of media attention focused around the fact that Patriots darling Danny Woodhead is a tiny human being who fit the Tim Lincecum mold of a guy who looks like he should be begging his mother to buy him a pack of Pokemon cards at his…

  20. Ovechkin and Crosby should stay away from television if they know what’s good for them

    Dec 17, 2010, 1:29 PM EDT

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    priceisright

    For all of you grandmas out there (and Rick) who religiously follow The Price is Right, boy do I have just the thing for you. According to D.C. Sports Bog, the Washington Post has procured an advanced screening of the upcoming appearance by hockey superstars Alex Ovechkin, who sounds exactly how I imagine a talking…

  21. Bengals’ big weapon for promoting season ticket sales? A box of popcorn

    Dec 16, 2010, 2:33 PM EDT

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    frenchtaunter

    The Cincinnati Bengals aren’t a very good football team, but over the past offseason they were coming off a pretty decent 10-6 season, their reclamation project of Cedric Benson had paid off with a brilliant season at halfback and they had just signed Antonio Bryant and Terrell Owens, who are some of the best old…

  22. Ice, you have been vanquished: Meet your new synthetic overlord

    Dec 13, 2010, 2:37 PM EDT

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    syntheticice

    A small town in northeastern Alberta has decided that the idea of skating on actual ice is too 20th century for their tastes so they’ve decided to take the plunge and embrace technology by having a company that has developed a ‘synthetic ice hockey playing surface’ to plop down some of their fake ice tiles…

  23. The Big Interview: Patriots’ Troy Brown on motivation, the death of the two-way player and Bill Belichick

    Dec 10, 2010, 3:29 PM EDT

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    brownmorgan

    OFF THE BENCH: So what’ve you been up to since retirement? TROY BROWN: 2007 was my last season and I’ve still been here locally in Massachusetts doing some Comcast New England television for the Patriots and working for WEUI radio here in Boston covering the Pats also. You basically watched Tom Brady grow up to…

  24. Heat are finally successful, ride team bus with the moniker “LeBus”

    Dec 10, 2010, 1:09 PM EDT

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    lebus

    I bet when LeBron took his first peek at the name on the back of the team bus he’d be riding out of Salt Lake City he slowly nodded and let out an, “Ohhhhhhh yeahhhhhhh.” But that’s probably the usual reaction when people are presented with a one way ticket out of that arctic prison.…

  25. Clayton Kershaw’s wedding is a kid-dancing, Dodgers-jersey-wearing hoedown

    Dec 8, 2010, 2:47 PM EDT

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    kershawchildrendance

    And now for a story that’ll warm the cockles of your heart: Dodgers ace Clayton Kershaw, he of the heatseeking missile fastball and impeccable hair stylings was married over the weekend and NONE OF US WERE INVITED! Did he not realize how valuable Rick and I would have been on his dance floor? People would…