Feb 28, 2013, 11:07 AM EST
Guido the Italian Racing Sausage, who went missing on Feb. 16 and was feared kidnapped, has been reclaimed by relieved Milwaukee Brewers officials who located him — unsurprisingly — in a bar.
As you surely now from nonstop international news coverage, the Klements Racing Sausage (pictured, far left) went AWOL two weeks ago following an appearance at a fundraising event in Cedarburg, Wis., which is not far from the weiner’s Miller Park home. The galloping sausage was seen bar-hopping (this is true) at at least two Cedarburg establishments since that time. Then, Wednesday night:
Two men — one wearing a hoodie pulled tight over his face — lugged the larger-than-life link into the bar just before 8 p.m. Wednesday, plopped him on a bar stool and warned staff, “You did not see anything,” said bartender Jen Mohney.
“Like I didn’t just see two guys plop a sausage on a bar stool,” Mohney said.
Mohney said the two left in less than a minute and she immediately called police.
At least two news sources I’ve seen so far this morning have used the phrase “Missing link” in their headlines, but I would never do that too you because I respect my readers too much.
In news I totally swear I’m not making up, two condiment companies — one which makes mustard and another, sauerkraut — offered rewards for the return of the Italian sausage costume.
Mustard Girl All American Mustards offered a year’s supply of mustard to anyone who would return the costume.
Jennifer Connor, president of the Pleasant Prairie-based company, said the links couldn’t race without the Italian Sausage.
“I’m a super big fan, and I like to give them big squeezes all the time,” Connor said. “We have to keep our sausage racers whole.”
Appleton-based GLK Foods, the largest manufacturer of sauerkraut in the world, matched Mustard Girl with a year’s supply of sauerkraut.
“They’re a statewide treasure,” said Ryan Downs, president and owner of GLK Foods. “This can’t go unpunished.”
Of course as you know, the Italian Racing Sausage is no stranger to controversy:
- So long folks, it’s time for me to take off 18
- Man wins full marathon while pushing his daughter in a baby stroller (video) 14
- Lock and load, it’s youth baseball fundraising time: league raffling off AR-15 rifle (video) 8
- Sim Bhullar is a large basketball player, and I mean it. Anybody want a peanut? 0
- What’s with kids and all these death-defying stunts? 674
- Nothing to see here…just a 70-yard field goal by a high-schooler (video) 3
- None found