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From doping to Poping? Betting firm lists Lance Armstrong at 10,000-1 odds to be next Pontiff

Feb 12, 2013, 11:14 AM EDT

lancearmstrongsix Getty Images

Yes, the next Pope could be using PEDs, Prayer Enhancing Drugs, at least according to one professional betting firm. Ladbrokes, a British-based gaming company, has installed Lance Armstrong at 10,000-1 odds on becoming the next Pope — replacing Pope Benedict XVI, who will be resigning at the end of February.

Because you can bet on anything these days, several of the finer online betting establishments are laying odds on who will be the next Pontiff, with Canadian Cardinal Marc Ouellet the consensus favorite so far at anywhere from 4-1 to 7/2. Fun fact about Cardinal Ouellet: he was a rabid Quebec Nordiques fan back in the day. Could we be on the verge of having our first hockey fan Pope? God is in the crease!

Next you’ve got your Ghanaian Cardinal Peter Turkson and your Nigerian Cardinal Francis Arinze and so on, until we get to the slightly more exotic choices:

  • Irish author, political activist and former lead singer of The Boomtown Rats, Bob Geldof, is listed at 1,000-1 at
  • Noted atheist and evolutionary biologist Richard Dawkins is listed at 666-1 by Paddy Power. Well played.
  • Bono is at 1,000-1 at two different sites.
  • Madonna and Oprah Winfrey are both at 2,000-1 at Coral.
  • Soccer badboy Mario Balotelli is at 5,000-1 at But I prefer their 5,000-1 offering on Tony Blair. He’s tanned, rested and ready.
  • Father Jack Hackett, a completely fictional character from the British TV sitcom Father Ted, is at 10,000-1 on StanJames.

Here’s a comprehensive rundown of all the betting choices. And by the way, good luck with your office Papal Pool!

  1. The Goose - Feb 13, 2013 at 11:53 PM

    Lance Armstrong has hit rock bottom – he’s now a tricyclist in a circus – a great spoof on The Goose –