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Here are some of the wackier Super Bowl prop bets (and the ones to avoid)

Jan 31, 2013, 4:40 PM EDT

Super Bowl XLV Getty Images

How long will the post-game handshake/hug last between Jim & John Harbaugh? And … (clicks stopwatch).

It’s official: when it comes to the Super Bowl, people will bet on anything. (All of those betting that the lead to this post would be about the Harbaughs, please collect your winnings). The Super Bowl prop bets are here, so pay attention, you degenerates.

Actually if you’re a hard-core gambler — and I live near Stateline, Nev., so there are several within spitting distance of me right now — you knew about these ages ago. But we’ve culled the most interesting ones for your amusement, plus we have the latest odds.

So let’s go. What happens in Off the Bench, stays in Off the Bench.

Prop bets are from the good folks at Bovada.lv.

PROP SPECIALS

How long will it take Alicia Keys to sing the US National Anthem?
Over/Under: 2 minutes 10 seconds.

Will Alicia Keys be booed during or after her rendition of the National Anthem?
Yes … 5/1

Will Beyonce be joined by Jay Z on stage during the Super Bowl halftime show?
Yes … +110 (11/10)
No … -150 (2/3)

Will Beyonce’s hair be curly/crimped or straight at the beginning of the halftime show?
Straight … -140 (5/7)
Curly/crimped … EVEN (1/1)

What predominant color will Beyonce’s top be at the beginning of the halftime show?
Black … 9/4
Gold (Yellow) … 5/2
Silver (Grey) … 4/1
White … 5/1
Red … 13/2
Pink … 15/2
Orange … 12/1
Blue … 15/1
Green … 15/1

Note: Grey was 7/2 a few hours ago. What caused a shift in hair color odds?

Who will be shown first during the game?
Jim Harbaugh … 1/1
John Harbaugh … 1/1
Split screen shot of both … 4/1

If you’re actually placing money on the above one, don’t even bother with rehab: there is absolutely no hope for you.

How many times will “Harbaugh” be said during the game?
Over/Under … 21½

This would actually be better as a drinking game. Wait … what’s with the one-half? Is someone going to say “Har –”?

Will any Baltimore or San Francisco player on the active roster be arrested before Super Bowl XLVII?
Yes … 5/1

So cynical.

Who will Barack Obama pick to win the game?
Baltimore Ravens … -200 (1/2)
San Francisco 49ers … +150 (3/2)

Waiting for this news is like waiting for the orange crop report in Trading Places.

What Color will the Gatorade (or liquid) be that is dumped on the head coach of the winning Super Bowl team?
Clear/water … 19/10
Orange … 3/1
Yellow … 5/2
Green … 7/1
Red … 13/2
Blue … 7/1

Orange has moved from 5/2 to 3/1 in the past two hours. Beeks! Where’s Beeks?!

Who will the Super Bowl MVP of the game thank first?
Teammates … 8/5
God … 5/2
Coach … 12/1
Family … 15/1
Owner … 20/1
No one … 3/2

If Ray Lewis is interviewed on TV after the game on the field or in the locker room how many times will he mention “God/Lord”
Over/Under … 3

Which region will have the higher local TV rating?
Baltimore … -150 (2/3)
San Francisco … +110 (11/10)

What will happen with the Dow Jones the day after the Super Bowl?
Market up … -140 (5/7)
Market down … EVEN (1/1)

“Turn those machines back on!”

What will be the highest tweet-per-second during the Super Bowl?
Over/Under … 15,000

GAME PROPS

Odds to win MVP
Colin Kaepernick (SF) QB … 7/4
Joe Flacco (BAL) QB … 11/4
Frank Gore (SF) RB … 7/1
Ray Lewis (BAL) LB … 7/1
Ray Rice (BAL) RB … 10/1
Michael Crabtree (SF) WR … 14/1
Anquan Boldin (BAL) WR … 16/1
Vernon Davis (SF) TE … 18/1
Torrey Smith (BAL) WR … 20/1
Ed Reed (BAL) FS … 33/1
Aldon Smith (SF) LB … 40/1
Dennis Pitta (BAL) TE … 40/1
Randy Moss (SF) WR … 40/1
Patrick Willis (SF) LB … 50/1
Terrell Suggs (BAL) LB … 50/1
Dashon Goldson (SF) FS … 66/1
David Akers (SF) K … 66/1
LaMichael James (SF) RB … 66/1
NaVorro Bowman (SF) LB … 66/1
Bernard Pierce (BAL) RB … 75/1
Justin Tucker (BAL) K … 75/1
Ted Ginn Jr. (SF) WR … 75/1
Alex Smith (SF) QB … 100/1
Delanie Walker (SF) TE … 100/1
Field … 22/1

I’ll take my David Akers at 66/1 and see you in hell.

Will the game go to overtime?
Yes (Overtime) … +600 (6/1)
No (Overtime) … -1000 (1/10)

Longest touchdown scored in the game (yardage)
Over/Under … 46½

Total passing yards: Joe Flacco (BAL)
Over/Under … 250

Total tackles & assists: Ray Lewis (BAL)
Over/Under … 11½

Total passing yards: Colin Kaepernick (SF)
Over/Under … 232½

Longest rush: Colin Kaepernick (SF)
Over/Under … 19½

CROSS SPORT MATCHUPS

I didn’t even know these existed

What will be higher?
Sidney Crosby shots on goal Feb 3rd vs. Montreal … Pick
Torrey Smith receptions Super Bowl XLVII … Pick

What will be higher?
Alex Ovechkin minutes played Feb 3rd vs. Pittsburgh … Pick
Shortest field goal made in the game Super Bowl XLVII … Pick

Wow.

What will be higher?
LeBron James rebounds & assists Feb 3rd vs. Toronto … -3½
Ray Lewis tackles & assists Super Bowl XLVII … +3½

If you bet on this we are no longer friends.

What will be higher?
Kobe Bryant points Feb 3rd vs. Detroit … +5½
Randy Moss receiving yards Super Bowl XLVII … -5½

What will be higher?
Totals goals in Manchester City vs. Liverpool Feb 3rd … Pick
Randy Moss receptions Super Bowl XLVII … Pick

Keep in mind that Randy Moss says he’s the greatest Premier League receiver of all time.

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