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Steamed British hockey player attempts to slash opponent in half with his stick (video)

Jan 8, 2013, 3:32 PM EDT

slasherman

I watched a hockey clip on the internet and a sword fight broke out, FINALLY. Took them long enough. Let’s see some impromptu fencing next time. And tap dancing. But I’m getting carried away.

Simon Ferguson was cruising around, doing his job as a British hockey player when, seemingly out of nowhere, a dude on the other team named Kelsey Wilson tried to slice his belly in half with his hockey stick. Ferguson hit the deck pretty hard (but stayed intact). That man is horrible at post game handshakes. Maybe they have some weird violent inside joke we don’t know about.

This video comes from Great Britain’s Elite Ice Hockey League (which, coincidentally, isn’t very elite) and shows Kelsey Wilson of the Nottingham Panthers delivering what appears to be an unprovoked, vicious two-handed slash to the midsection of Simon Ferguson of the Sheffield Steelers.

Unbelievably, Wilson only received a three-game suspension from the EIHL for the slash. Three games? Are you kidding me?! That was borderline assault with a deadly weapon. The guy should have been suspended indefinitely or banned altogether. No excuse for crap like that.

And Wilson got away with it too. Nobody went after the slasher as he idly skated away, leaving with only a three game suspension. And a life of infinite internet infamy in the halls of Off the Bench. HA-HA!

H/T THE NOSEBLEEDS

  1. cur68 - Jan 8, 2013 at 4:43 PM

    If that had happened in Canadian game there would have been a brawl. Probably not just players, either. Coaches, mascots, fans, officials: brawl. And that kid Wilson? His ass would have been epically kicked.

  2. ryanw822 - Jan 8, 2013 at 10:41 PM

    If this happened to a Sabres player, his teammates wouldve done nothing until after the game. Then the Sabres would cry to the media.

  3. wopgenius - Jan 9, 2013 at 6:52 AM

    Where were his teammates? They just point at the guy and cry to the ref? He needs to bleed

  4. ballistictrajectory - Jan 9, 2013 at 2:11 PM

    The Flyers are ready to sign him.