Jan 8, 2013, 3:32 PM EDT
I watched a hockey clip on the internet and a sword fight broke out, FINALLY. Took them long enough. Let’s see some impromptu fencing next time. And tap dancing. But I’m getting carried away.
Simon Ferguson was cruising around, doing his job as a British hockey player when, seemingly out of nowhere, a dude on the other team named Kelsey Wilson tried to slice his belly in half with his hockey stick. Ferguson hit the deck pretty hard (but stayed intact). That man is horrible at post game handshakes. Maybe they have some weird violent inside joke we don’t know about.
This video comes from Great Britain’s Elite Ice Hockey League (which, coincidentally, isn’t very elite) and shows Kelsey Wilson of the Nottingham Panthers delivering what appears to be an unprovoked, vicious two-handed slash to the midsection of Simon Ferguson of the Sheffield Steelers.
Unbelievably, Wilson only received a three-game suspension from the EIHL for the slash. Three games? Are you kidding me?! That was borderline assault with a deadly weapon. The guy should have been suspended indefinitely or banned altogether. No excuse for crap like that.
And Wilson got away with it too. Nobody went after the slasher as he idly skated away, leaving with only a three game suspension. And a life of infinite internet infamy in the halls of Off the Bench. HA-HA!
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