Jan 3, 2013, 1:36 PM EST
It happened in North Carolina, because things like this happening in Florida or Kentucky are so cliche. Gary Wayne Ericcson, 46, was arrested Sunday on a variety of charges after a shooting in his home. Inside, police found a dead snake, and a bunch of other stuff with bullet holes. Ericcson’s explanation? His pet snake died of natural causes, which made him so distraught that he shot up his collection of Dale Earnhardt NASCAR memorabilia.
Yeah, that would be my natural reaction.
“I couldn’t bury him or the other animals would get him,” Ericcson told NBC Charlotte, the Observer’s news partner. “I had to shoot it to get the gas out of him, then I was going to burn him.”
Ericcson said the snake was his pet for about 17 years. “I’ve had that snake since he was so small he could just wrap around your wrist,” he said. “Me and my wife can’t have kids, so the animals are our kids.”
Ericcson claimed he was so distraught over the snake’s death, he shot up the large cabinet that contained his Dale Earnhardt collection.
Ericcson says he plans on bringing witnesses to court to prove that the snake was already dead when he shot it. So not only is this a court hearing that I would absolutely love to see in person, but I’d also like to see the very skinny chalk outline that the coroner drew at the crime scene.
In other news, the NRA has thrown up its hands and surrendered. “Take all our guns, after this we just don’t care.”
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