Oct 26, 2012, 4:01 PM EDT
Ah, mothers. One of the few things shared by every mammal on this planet is that we all have one, and just about all of us have been embarrassed by them one time or another. It’s kind of the deal– they have to incubate us inside their bodies for the better part of a year as we intravenously hijack their foods and fluids, then they expel us into the cruel world through a prohibitively small body orifice like a bulimic python unhinging its jaw in reverse, before feeding, clothing, educating, and loving us unconditionally for (at least) 18 years, and in return they get to mortify us in public at every opportunity, without repercussion.
…well, almost without repercussion, as Lawanda Ann Alford, mother of Southern Miss quarterback Anthony Alford, found out at last week’s home game against Marshall. It’s tough out there for a mom when your progeny is 9-of-21 for 65 yards.
From the Clarion Ledger:
The mother of Southern Miss freshman quarterback Anthony Alford was escorted from the stands at M.M. Roberts Stadium Saturday and charged with a pair of misdemeanors after being arrested by Hattiesburg Police. Lawanda Ann Alford, 38, was booked into the Forrest County Jail Saturday on disorderly conduct and resisting arrest charges.
She was ordered from the stands after getting into a loud argument with another fan who was berating her son’s play during USM’s 59-24 loss to Marshall.
Okay, a few things to note here: 1) how loud and disorderly do you have to be, to be exceptionally loud and disorderly at a college football game in MISSISSIPPI? Doesn’t the entire state have a two drink minimum? And 2) They lost by 25, at home, to Marshall? Forget a little verbal abuse by the fans, the quarterback is lucky they didn’t pelt him with flaming bags of dog poo, a few Roman candles, and the complete discography of Larry the Cable Guy. Yeesh.
Her son’s poor performance aside, Ms. Alford is clearly a dedicated parent and joins a long list of overprotective/potentially disruptive mothers in the world of sports, along with Javale McGee’s mom, LeBron James’ mom, Donovan McNabb’s mom, and many others. However, I’m sure this was just a one-time instance of her losing her cool, out of love and a maternal instinct to protect that which she hath wrought upon this Earth. Live and learn, right?
This past spring, she came out of stands and onto the field of play at Petal High School’s baseball stadium after her son was ejected for arguing a called third strike during the first game of the South State playoffs against Harrison Central. After showing her displeasure by screaming at the umpire, she was escorted from the stadium by school officials.
Oh, I see. Maybe you should sit the next few games out, ma. That kind of behavior might be fine and dandy in the little leagues, but there’s just no room for it in Conference USA. We’re building the future assistant managers of America here, after all.
No word if she’ll be in the stands for the next home game vs. UAB on November 3.
Southern Miss quarterback Anthony Alford’s mother arrested at game [ClarionLedger.com]
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