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Teddy Roosevelt now cannot be stopped, has won three straight Presidents’ Races

Oct 12, 2012, 9:00 AM EDT


Teddy Roosevelt has a checkered history with Kool-Aid Man, as proven by the shocking video below, which was taken in Sept. of 2010. But just as in the best professional wrestling scripts, the two are now allies. On Thursday Teddy lumbered to his third consecutive victory in the Washington Nationals Presidents Race, after enduring 525 consecutive losses dating to 2006. Nationals GM Mike Rizzo is obviously overcompensating for shutting down Stephen Strasburg by letting Teddy reel off a three-race winning streak.

From DC Sports Bog:

“Act like you’ve been there before,” TBS’s Bob Brenly complained, more or less, as Teddy strutted around following the win.

He had some help, of course.

“It was an all star villains presidents race,” @LetTeddyWin reported. “That Cat, Shark, Luc the Lobster, Kool Aid Man taking out George, Tom, and Abe. Teddy Wins”

These characters weren’t always so chummy:


Look, this is entertaining and all, but if the Nationals end up losing this series to the Cardinals, it will be because the promotions department let Teddy win. They had better stop the bespectacled 26th President today, or face a very long off-season explaining themselves.

The Nationals should also realize that mascot races are the MLB equivalent of a standup comic using props. The best ones — Jerry Seinfeld, Chris Rock, Louis C.K. — would never go on stage and use gimmicks. The San Francisco Giants, for instance, booed Crazy Crab off the field when he was introduced. And do you see racing mascots at a Cardinals game? No, but you will find 18 NL pennants and 11 World Series trophies.

The Nationals are making themselves the Carrot Top of baseball.