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The Phoenix Suns need a new gorilla … and it could be you!

Sep 3, 2012, 2:45 PM EDT

sunsgorilla Getty Images

Do you have the right stuff to be the Phoenix Suns Gorilla? Yes, for some reason they’re looking for a new one. Here’s the official job posting, and as you can see it takes a gleaming resume to even be considered. Among the requirements:

  • Regularly attend and contribute to department meetings, providing creative input, ideas and brainstorming.
  • College degree preferred or equivalent experience.

Is that mascot college or regular college? And what equivalent experience would one have of being a costumed gorilla? I suppose extras from Planet of the Apes could apply.

The Suns also say that the new gorilla would Assist in the creation and maintenance of Go website (www.sunsgorilla.com) and other social media (i.e. Facebook, Twitter, etc.); respond to fan mail, emails, and other requests directed to Go. I get endless joy from imagining the gorilla in costume putting in long work days at the computer.

But the big question is, what happened to the old gorilla? The Phoenix Gorilla was involved in an altercation at a Tempe, Ariz., restaurant this past April, when a Miami Heat fan punched him in the nose for being too annoying. No charges were filed. But that gorilla was a backup performer named Robert Woolf, and not the one who performs at games.

But the wording of the job listing indicates that the Suns are looking for an alpha male — the main mascot for games.

That’s some big furry shoes to fill. Go Gorilla is generally considered one of the greatest mascots in pro sports, what with his athletic hijinx and comical shenanigans.

As soon as I get in contact with someone from the Suns, hopefully I’ll have some answers.

  1. cur68 - Sep 4, 2012 at 12:23 PM

    Willingness to perform pantsless, having a vocabulary comprised entirely of the word “ook”, being paid in bananas and peanuts and having to take an annual flea-bath seems to be keeping the applicants down. Maybe if they threw in conjugal visits to the ape cage at the zoo?

    • Rick Chandler - Sep 4, 2012 at 12:46 PM

      Where’s Beeks?

      • cur68 - Sep 4, 2012 at 1:16 PM

        Probably somewhere in Africa as the Alpha’s war bride.