Aug 16, 2012, 7:10 PM EST
Individually they are terrible words, but taken together they are sweet music to me: ‘Matador’ and ‘Gored’. And when el Toro gets him with both horns, even better.
If you know me, then you know what I think of bullfighting: (expletive deleted). Simply put, men who wear skin-tight pants with sparkles should not carry swords. Animal torture, which is what bullfighting is, cannot be justified in any way, and the fact that there are still small groups of humans who engage in it is a mystery. To all you Latino Michael Vicks — knock it off.
Every once and awhile, however, a matador gets what he richly deserves. And if you’re like Fernando Cruz here, you get it twice. Cruz was gored during a bullfight in Madrid, getting ventilated by both the animal’s horns, sustaining holes his stomach and thigh. You gotta do a matador just like you do a vampire: stake ‘em.
- So long folks, it’s time for me to take off 18
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