Skip to content

Bull gets his money’s worth: gores stupid matador with both horns

Aug 16, 2012, 7:10 PM EDT


Individually they are terrible words, but taken together they are sweet music to me: ‘Matador’ and ‘Gored’. And when el Toro gets him with both horns, even better.

If you know me, then you know what I think of bullfighting: (expletive deleted). Simply put, men who wear skin-tight pants with sparkles should not carry swords. Animal torture, which is what bullfighting is, cannot be justified in any way, and the fact that there are still small groups of humans who engage in it is a mystery. To all you Latino Michael Vicks — knock it off.

Every once and awhile, however, a matador gets what he richly deserves. And if you’re like Fernando Cruz here, you get it twice. Cruz was gored during a bullfight in Madrid, getting ventilated by both the animal’s horns, sustaining holes his stomach and thigh. You gotta do a matador just like you do a vampire: stake ‘em.

Here are some very graphic photos. I will spend the rest of the day imagining Cruz drinking a glass of water, and leaking all over the hospital room from several various puncture wounds.

Video here.

  1. eugenesaxe - Aug 17, 2012 at 1:49 AM

    Shame the bull didn’t neuter him.

  2. hwatt - Aug 17, 2012 at 8:55 AM

    always root for the bull.

  3. mybrunoblog - Aug 17, 2012 at 10:17 AM

    I enjoy skinny skiing and going to bullfights on acid.

  4. cuse6468 - Aug 22, 2012 at 7:46 PM

    Rick Chandler is a touch hole