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Jose Canseco has a weekly column, and his first one is on gun control. Let’s enjoy

Aug 1, 2012, 11:34 AM EDT

5 Comments
Jose Canseco; Evan Malamud AP

If you’re a fan of Jose Canseco’s Twitter page (“al gore was a head of his time .i miss him rest in peace buddy hug for u”), you’re going to love this. Just got a press release from Vice.com, announcing that Canseco is their new columnist. Appearing every Monday, the column, entitled José Can Say So, will center presumably on whatever Jose is thinking about that week … or that minute. And his inaugural effort is a beauty.

Showing that the column will not always, if ever, center on baseball, Canseco takes on the thorny issue of gun control and the Aurora theater shootings. Let’s look at some excerpts:

— The funny thing is I don’t own any guns, but I would love to have a few—an Uzi and a street sweeper and a machine gun, maybe. I’d love to be able to carry a 9mm on me in a holster and just walk around. That’d be great. But you can’t in California, the state in which I live. And that’s bogus.

– I guarantee that if four or five or six people had guns on them in that theater, either that kid would never have gone in there, or he would have gotten blown away. That’s just the way it is. I think you have to send a message to the criminals: ”No no no no no, you think you’ve got a gun? I’ve got a bigger gun. I’ve got two guns on you.” It’s simple psychology, really.

– But, theoretically, if I was certain he didn’t have a weapon and I could defend myself (in other words he’s smaller than I am), I would not use a gun. Even if he does, I’m probably not going to shoot him above the waist; I’ll blast him in the leg or the knee.

– If it were up to me, I would fry the Aurora shooter, big-time. I’d do it like old times; I’d make it a spectacle and try him in public. Hang him, electrocute him, whatever. Maybe make it a Pay-Per-View special and send the proceeds to the families of the victims and maybe offset some of the costs of keeping him on death row and operating whatever death machine you strap him to. If I were president, that’s exactly what I’d do. No doubt in my mind. Financially, it’s a great deal.

As will always be the case with this column, I reckon, the comments are the best part.

Canseco may be writing the column to help pay the bills: he filed for Chapter 7 Bankruptcy today in Las Vegas. Part of Canseco’s debts include $500,000 owed to the IRS, according to court documents.

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  1. nothanksimdriving123 - Aug 1, 2012 at 4:06 PM

    Jose might not be able to think this through, but some of you will. Imagine the scene in that darkened Aurora theater if when one man started shooting, 3 or 4 or 5 other people pulled out their guns and started firing away. At whom? How does shooter 3 know who is the bad person? How does shooter 4 know whether it’s an organized terror attack by 3 people or just a lone nutter? So who does s/he shoot at? And in the relative dark amidst of all the screaming and blasting and movie noise, will all these shooters have perfect aim? It is all but impossible that only the real gunman would have been shot, and extremely likely the result would have been pretty much as much carnage as happened anyway.

    • mybrunoblog - Aug 2, 2012 at 2:27 PM

      in the above mentioned scenario the “bad guy” would be the one who snuck in an exit door dressed in replica swat gear, gas mask, orange hair and firing a long barrel firearm indiscriminately at unarmed civilians.
      As for your idea that “It is all but impossible that only the real gunman would have been shot, and extremely likely the result would have been pretty much as much carnage as happened anyway” I take it your vast experience with weapons and tactics have brought you to this interesting conclusion. My friend, you know not wtf you are talking about.
      The shooter connected with 70 hits killing 12 and critically wounding at least another 20. An armed civilian or an armed off duty police officer likely would have slowed this madman down or even stopped him.

  2. skids003 - Aug 1, 2012 at 4:44 PM

    It’s uninformed people like him that make law abiding citizens that carry look bad. nothanks, I think you are wrong. Instead of 70 people getting shot, the number would have been far less. Yes, an innocent might be hit, and that’s bad, but like the Israeli raid on Entebbe, a few did get hurt, but not the whole 100 there. Plus, do you think this idiot would have went in there if he thought someone else might be armed? I doubt it. Our society has pained anyone who owns a gun as a bad person. The truth is we aren’t all like the media would have you think.

    • nothanksimdriving123 - Aug 1, 2012 at 5:03 PM

      skids: At Entebbe there was a squad of highly trained Israeli special forces who all knew one another and had at least briefly practiced in a mockup of the site they attacked. In Aurora, had multiple citizens pulled guns, there is no guarantee any of them would have been half as well trained as even the average police officer, who under stress will often miss their target. They would NOT have all known one another, nor would they have had any idea who was friend or foe. It would have been bedlam and chaotic and many innocent people would been wounded or killed by the armed would-be helpers. And there was no metal detector at that theater so the gunman really had no way of knowing if others would also have guns. Perhaps that’s why he went outside to his car to more fully gear up. Your fantasy of how you wish it had been is likely quite different from how it likely would have been.

      • skids003 - Aug 2, 2012 at 8:11 AM

        True, they were highly trained. However, I would rather take my chances at fighting back than cowering under a chair and hope the nut doesn’t see me. So no, it’s not a fantasy for me, I trust myself more than I do chance.

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