Jul 30, 2012, 9:00 AM EST
Joel Goodson: Don’t steal anything. If I come back here and anything’s missing, I’m going straight to the police. I mean it.
Lana: Go to school, Joel. Learn something. – Risky Business, 1983.
So three Southern Methodist University football players were victims of a home robbery back in April: among the stolen loot laptops, TVs and video games. But here’s where it gets stupid, and interesting. One of the players, linebacker Uchenna Nwabuike, told police that … wait, isn’t this this storyline that began Tom Cruise’s career?
One of the players, identified as Uchenna Nwabuike, told police he believed the person responsible for the thefts was an escort. The linebacker from Missouri City went on to tell authorities that he had, “made a deal with the suspect to have sex with her for $50.”
In the police report, Nwabuike admitted that, “he did not pay the suspect for the acts that she performed” and left the woman in the home alone while the players attended the banquet.
Not paying a call girl and then leaving her alone in the house? Then telling police you did that? Have you always been this sharp, SMU? Or is this something new?
ABOUT LAST NIGHT
Police quote of the day so far: “What must of seemed to be a great idea at the time has backfired, resulting in the male receiving quite severe and very painful burns to his cheeks, back and private bits.”
- U.S. diving coach Diving coach Wenbo Chen looks exactly like Vince Masuka on Dexter.
- Michelle Obama hugs every player on the U.S. men’s basketball team.
- NY Giants safety sleeps with a Tinker Bell blanket.
Meanwhile, in Dallas …
- So long folks, it’s time for me to take off 18
- Man wins full marathon while pushing his daughter in a baby stroller (video) 14
- Lock and load, it’s youth baseball fundraising time: league raffling off AR-15 rifle (video) 8
- Sim Bhullar is a large basketball player, and I mean it. Anybody want a peanut? 0
- What’s with kids and all these death-defying stunts? 674
- Nothing to see here…just a 70-yard field goal by a high-schooler (video) 3
- None found