Jul 25, 2012, 9:00 AM EST
Apparently Voldemort is back, and he-who-must-not-be-named is threatening Friday’s Opening Ceremony of the London Olympics. But never fear —
Harry Potter Mary Poppins will save the day. Wait, what?
The Sunday Times reports, via Fourth Place Medal, that the Opening Ceremony will feature a British literary theme. A 40-foot Voldemort rising out of a bed in the center of Olympic Stadium, to be confronted by characters from Alice in Wonderland, 101 Dalmatians and, finally, a 40-foot Voldemort.
Then, this happens:
About 30 actors each depicting Mary Poppins, the magical English nanny played by Julie Andrews in the 1964 Disney film, will descend from the roof of the stadium on wires and “float” to the ground with their opened umbrellas. The nightmare will be banished and happiness restored. “It’s a jaw-dropping sequence,” said one source.
Also, a hundred children doing a “bed dance.”
Voldemort’s appearance will coincide with dozens of Dementors — creatures that feed off human happiness — streaming into the arena from all directions and scaring the children.
What, no Admiral Boom? #disappointing
But I would like to thank the London Olympics for providing several new costume themes for my Opening Ceremony viewing party.
ABOUT LAST NIGHT
What you missed while setting yourself on fire to win a bar bet …
- London Olympics to feature giant mood ring.
- Autograph hound throws shoes at Kevin Durant in Argentina, is ejected.
- Inventor of the treadmill dies at age 96.
Meanwhile, above Moscow …
- So long folks, it’s time for me to take off 18
- Man wins full marathon while pushing his daughter in a baby stroller (video) 14
- Lock and load, it’s youth baseball fundraising time: league raffling off AR-15 rifle (video) 8
- Sim Bhullar is a large basketball player, and I mean it. Anybody want a peanut? 0
- What’s with kids and all these death-defying stunts? 674
- Nothing to see here…just a 70-yard field goal by a high-schooler (video) 3
- None found