Morning Mail: Rugby player does not care for transvestite-related game delay (video)

For some reason this man thought it would be a good idea to dress as Goldilocks and prance around the pitch at an English professional rugby union match. He then goaded several players until he got planted by Bath’s Olly Barkley. Pay attention to the video below, kids: it was a textbook tackle … as the experts will attest, you must always wrap and drive a fairy tale character. Goldilocks was not de-cleated, because she was wearing no cleats. She was de-wigged, though.

Barkley explains it all:

Best quote, from the Manchester Evening News:

An onlooker said: “The bloke kept dancing around and it was getting to the stage where people had had enough when Barkley monstered him.”

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ABOUT LAST NIGHT

What you missed while … wait, what’s that smell? …

• LaMarr Woodley pranks NFL buddies into wacky photo shoot.

• Diamondbacks fan catches foul ball, does not drop pizza. Winning.

• Extreme cyclist attempts downhill speed record.

• Bahrain protesters target Grand Prix.

Meanwhile, in Charlotte, N.C. …