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Morning Mail: Mike Leach breaks down the Pac-12 mascots. No, really

Mar 30, 2012, 9:00 AM EDT

Mike Leach, Glenn Johnson AP

How great is it having Mike Leach back in coaching? This great (holds hands apart approximately as wide as buffalo’s head). Leach, the new football coach at Washington State, was on the radio with Jim Moore and Kevin Calabro of 710 ESPN Seattle recently, when something wonderful happened: following a rather boring rundown of what’s been going on with his team, he began an elaborate breakdown of all the Pac-12 mascots. The question came completely out of left field, and Leach grabbed it and ran with it, like a cougar chasing an elk. And it was glorious.

Jim Moore: “In a battle to the death among Pac-12 mascots, which animal or person wins?”

Mike Leach: “The Cougar absolutely. Let’s go through this a little bit. A cougar obviously kills a duck and a beaver. A cougar against a husky … that’s pretty well a massacre. A cardinal or whatever: I don’t know exactly what a cougar would either climb it or I wouldn’t want to think of what else he’d do on it. Now Golden Bears could be kinda tough. I think you’d want to be a little fast and loose with them. You don’t want to get caught by that bear. The Ute … you gotta dodge some arrowheads, but I still like the Cougar. Buffalo … I think the buffalo would be pretty tough to beat. Wildcat: Cougars are bigger than wildcats . Sun Devils, that’s mythical anyway. Trojans, they may be as well. I think you gotta look out for the Bruins and the Buffalo. The Golden Bear, Bruin and Buffalo .. I think those are the tough ones.”

Moore: “Why the Buffalo?”

Leach: “Do you want to fight a buffalo? I don’t know, those buffalo are big. You know, buffalo are significantly bigger than elk. I grew up near Yellowstone so I’ve been near buffalo. Buffalo are huge. And then the other thing I’ve always gotten a kick out of: When you play Colorado, there’s those buffalo dragging those six handler around. Those handlers aren’t dragging the buffalo. The buffalo’s dragging him.

“Ralphie’s not even a big buffalo. Ralphie pulls those people wherever he wants to.”

Audio here.

Personally, I’m not sure how any of these mascots beats a tree. Stanford wins. But ultimately WSU wins, because they have Mike Leach.

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ABOUT LAST NIGHT

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Meanwhile, Minnesota …

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Wild’s Tom Gilbert gets stick stuck in earhole of his helmet in game vs. Panthers. Video here.

  1. tigersgeaux - Mar 30, 2012 at 11:14 AM

    Yep, that’s right…any team with Mike Leach wins. Glad he is back in coaching, but sad it is not with an SEC or Big 12, or Big 10 team where I could see him coaching more. He has not lost his marvelous sense of humor, his wit, and that alone increases the entertainment value greatly. If he enjoys his stint at Washington State, I wish him all the years possible there. Best to you Coach! That is funny. My Ute friends may hold a little difference, but it all is in fun, and fun it is!