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The real breasts vs. the fake breasts: NFL cheerleader’s book reveals growing controversy

Mar 20, 2012, 3:15 PM EDT

bengalscheerleaders AP

Normally I wouldn’t be interested in a NFL cheerleader memoir, unless it was a popup book. But the one penned by Laura Vikmanis, a Cincinnati Bengals Pom-Pom waver, sounds good. Not only is Vikmanis, 43, the oldest cheerleader in the NFL, but she sounds like she’s got some pretty amusing tales to tell.

Vikmanis’ book is entitled It’s Not About the Pom-Poms: How a 40-Year-Old Mom Became the NFL’s Oldest Cheerleader – and Found Hope, Joy, and Inspiration Along the Way, and centers becoming an NFL cheerleader changed her life. But there’s also stuff like this:

In a recent interview with the Cincinnati Enquirer about her book Vikmanis revealed that not all 36 girls on the squad got along. But the surprising statement is where the divide on the team comes from:

“The most prominent division on the Ben-Gals is not between the young girls and the older girls but between the Real Boobs and the Fake Boobs. This is despite the fact that at any given time, a third of the Real Boobs are considering implants,” she told the Enquirer.

It’s the cheerleader equivalent of using steroids, I guess. Players look at each other in the locker room and wonder, ‘Is he juicing?’ Cheerleaders, meanwhile, are wondering ‘Are those ta-tas real?’ And just once, hopefully, someone has uttered the line “They’re real … and they’re spectacular.”

  1. cur68 - Mar 21, 2012 at 12:01 AM

    Blind taste test?

    • thraiderskin - Mar 22, 2012 at 12:06 PM

      well played sir…

  2. stuckonwords - Mar 21, 2012 at 12:13 AM

    I pass on any and all blow-up dolls. If you’re reading, girls…a lot of us are completely turned off by fake tits. Gimme good ole, real flesh. Tiny and real beats fake a million times over.

    • stuckonwords - Mar 23, 2012 at 1:01 PM

      And there you have it. 63% of men prefer real to fake. Listen up, girls.

      • stuckonwords - Mar 26, 2012 at 10:23 AM

        And the final tally is…….36 of 52. 69.2% Not even close.

  3. shaggytoodle - Mar 21, 2012 at 12:46 AM

    If I can touch them, they must be real.

  4. term3186 - Mar 21, 2012 at 12:50 PM

    Nice Seinfeld reference.