Lionel Messi ‘running like he’s got a food mixer down his shorts,’ according to broadcaster (video)

Before we get to the sports broadcasting line of the month, let’s get one thing straight. You are not allowed to use Star Trek references if you don’t know the difference between Mr. Spock and Dr. Spock. Got that, Ray Hudson?

The GOLTV commentator used perhaps too much color in describing Lionel Messi’s third goal of the day in Barcelona’s 4-1 win over Málaga on Sunday. Using Star Trek verbiage and inserting Dr. Spock when you mean Mr. Spock is pretty amateurish, even for a European. But this line beats everything:

“[Messi is] running like he’s got a food mixer down his shorts! And it’s set to ‘beat’ …”

Possible comebacks by his partner:

“Mine is set to ‘pulse’.”

“Can also be used to shell nuts.”

If you have ever run with a food mixer down your shorts, please choose which setting best describes the sensation:

1-Fold
2-Stir
3-Mix
4-Blend
5-Combine
6-Beat
7-Cream
8-Fluff
9-Frappe
10-Whip

The “food mixer” and “Dr. Spock” references begin at the 3:20 mark in the video.

I guess when a player scores three goals in one game, you kind of run out of ways to describe them.

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Ray Hudson Invokes Star Trek, Shakespeare, And Theology To Praise Lionel Messi This Week [Awful Announcing]