Dec 14, 2011, 3:31 PM EDT
Scoff if you like, but something large and terrible is lurking in the River Lea, right in the shadow of London’s Olympic Stadium. Does the 2012 Olympics have its own Loch Ness Monster? Eyewitnesses say that aye, it may be so. Be careful if ye go out on the water, lads. Especially if ye are a goose.
A goose-eating beast is lurking in the watery depths under the shadow of the Olympic Stadium, a boatman has warned.
Mike Wells said he had spotted a Canada goose being pulled below the surface of the River Lea in east London, which “disappeared so fast it didn’t make a sound.
“We just saw the goose go vertically down — in the space of half a second it had gone. Whatever it was, it had to be big.”
Here’s the Google map view of the stadium. See anything suspicious? Like a conspicuous lack of geese?
British Waterways says that the most likely explanation for the creature is that it’s a giant pike, mink, alligator or giant turtle in the water. Gulping down a Canada goose, though, is a little more than those creatures could handle; except for the alligator. And having alligator-infested waters near the Olympic Village shouldn’t put anyone’s mind at ease.
Anyway, time to scrap these old Olympic mascots and get to work on naming this new, cool one. Jabberwocky? Lea? Ollie? This is going to make for some great t-shirts. My God, a monster attacked a goose just a few hundred yards from the stadium. This is going to be the best Olympics ever!
‘Goose-killer lurks in River Lea’ near Olympic Stadium [BBC]
Did Olympic monster attack goose at 2012 site? [Newslite.tv]
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