Oct 21, 2011, 10:05 AM EST
To which I have only one reply: You can have my Schweddy Balls when you pry it from my cold, dead hands.
Um, wait …
The conservative watchdog group One Million Moms — an offshoot of the American Family Association — is putting its resources where they can best help America, it’s clear. They’re calling for a boycott on the newest Ben & Jerry’s ice cream flavor, Schweddy Balls. The flavor is inspired, of course, by the Saturday Night Live sketch in which Pete Schweddy (Alec Baldwin) introduces his homemade Christmas candy in an NPR spoof.
We’ve covered the Schweddy Balls story from the beginning, and found it amusing. One Million Moms did not. Excerpts from a letter sent to its members:
He then explains that he sells popcorn balls, cheese balls, rum balls–balls for every taste–and the ball puns proceed for about four minutes. Ben & Jerry’s chose to go with fudge-covered rum and malt balls for their flavor. The skit culminates in Baldwin stating that “No one can resist my Schweddy Balls.”
In the past, Ben & Jerry’s has released controversial ice creams, like a special edition of Chubby Hubby called Hubby Hubby last year which celebrated gay marriage. It seems that offending customers has become an annual tradition for Ben & Jerry’s.
The ice cream is being released in a limited batch, which means it will be distributed nationwide but only for three or four months. If it proves popular, another batch might be forthcoming, but we hope not.
Please send Ben & Jerry’s Public Relations Manager, Sean Greenwood, an email letter requesting that no additional Schweddy Balls ice cream be distributed. Also, highly recommend they refrain from producing another batch with this name or any other offensive names or you will no longer be able to purchase their products.
If you spend time on such a letter, considering all of the real problems in this fine nation that could use your attention, then you deserve a two-hour ice cream headache.
Oh, by the way: the reviews of the actual product? Not that good. Consensus: Not enough balls.
Schweddy Balls Boycott: One Million Moms Angered Over Ben & Jerry’s ‘SNL’ Flavor [Huffington Post]
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