Wakeup Call: Hi, my name is Spartacat, and I’m an alcoholic (video)

This smooth operator shown here is Spartacat, mascot of the Ottawa Senators, and he’s apparently on very familiar terms with both the ladies and the hooch. Of course we’re only speculating on his level of sobriety, but what else could explain his headlong stumble down the steps of Scotiabank Place, where he face-planted into the glass? Not exactly a moment from The Lion King on Broadway.

Spartacat: “I meant to do that (hic!).”

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ABOUT LAST NIGHT

What you missed while being touched by the word of God …

• Knowshon Moreno falls off an exercise bike (laugh track).

• Matt Cassel talks about his sideline argument with coach Todd Haley.

• New Olympic anti-doping test can detect HGH from 21 days back.

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TODAY IN MARK TRAIL …

“Oh well, it can wait. X-Factor is on.”