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Couple busted for having sex on cricket field told to pay restitution to ‘victims’

Sep 27, 2011, 11:22 AM EDT

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So an unemployed couple was arrested and fined for having sex on a cricket field in full view of spectators. I’d like to string together a devastating series of puns right here, but unfortunately my cricket vernacular is too weak. Um, wicket, googly … fast bowling with a leg-spin grip … ah, I got nothing. Hopefully you can do better.

One thing I do know is that the perpetrators, Andy Newman and his girlfriend Kerri Cooper, were fined 50 pounds for “outraging public decency.” But they also had to pay a 15-pound fine for a “victim surcharge.” London Daily Mail:

They had started drinking in the early afternoon of September 9 before their passion got the better of them at around 3pm, Crawley Crown Court heard.

Prosecutor Hazel Merritt told the court: “The two community wardens were patrolling the field at the cricket ground which is overlooked by residential housing.

“They saw a male and female, Newman and Cooper, lying on the field and they were having sexual intercourse.

“When they were asked to stop Newman just laughed. Both wardens were outraged by what they saw and what was going on.

Newman told police his name was Mickey Mouse. Both were arrested and in interview both initially denied ever having a sexual relationship. But Newman finally confessed and said he lied because he was embarrassed.

In Britain, however, all crimes come with the built-in surcharge — not just the ones involving cricket field sex:

[The surcharge] will be paid into a fund aimed at helping improve services for victims of crime, and will be fixed at a flat rate regardless of the size of the fine.

Again, have fun arranging these words into hilarious puns. I’m having no luck.

Having their wicket way: Couple caught during daylight romp on cricket pitch (and they just laughed when asked to stop) [Daily Mail]