Rick’s Cafe: Yes, tennis umpire Eva Asderaki has you right where she wants you
Sep 15, 2011, 4:40 PM EDT
Getty Images Let’s be frank. I know why you were so interested in Serena Williams’ meltdown at the U.S. Open women’s singles finals. It certainly wasn’t because you love women’s tennis. It wasn’t because you’re a Serena Williams fan. And it wasn’t because you love a good argument. When Serena tore into chair umpire Eva Asderaki over a point deduction, calling her, inexplicably, “ugly on the inside,” I saw you bristle. “No!” You cried. “Eva is beautiful, through and through!” Then you clutched your Eva Asderaki throw pillow and began slowly rocking.
Yep. Because as you know, there is nothing more appealing than a hot female tennis linesperson.
Deep down, every man wants to be judged by Eva Asderaki, and every woman wants to be her. To men, she’s a domanatrix in a nautical suit; strong yet fair, ruthless yet kind. That ball was out, sir. Go ahead and argue all you want, but it’s not going to change anything. TALK TO THE HAND. Men want to date Samantha Stosur, but they want to bring Eva Asderaki home to mother.
Talk about putting a woman on a pedestal … look at her in the photo above. Ten feet over the court and in complete control, like a lifeguard with creased slacks. And in case you hadn’t picked up on the metaphor, take a close look at what he’s holding in her left hand. Guys may wince at that, but secretly they respect it. Consider this exchange over at Tennis Forum following the Williams match:
She’s the fastest umpire as well! Zips in and out of the chair like a lightning bolt when it comes to checking ball marks. — RazOr
Like in the Charleston final with Woz. Eva’s face was like “B***h I got this.” — Dentine
It’s not here quite yet, but it’s coming: The Cult of Asderaki. It probably won’t surprise you to know that she has a fan club, and a devoted following on her Facebook page. Fans keep track of where she’s umpiring, believe it or not. And with this Williams thing, her profile is bigger than ever. There’s an Eva Asderaki and Mariana Alves Appreciation Society on Facebook — Alves is a fellow linesperson, from Portugal.
Asderaki, 29, from Greece, is one of only three women to hold a gold certification from the International Tennis Federation — the others being Alves and Allison Lang. At the U.S. Open, she withstood this barrage from Williams:
“If you ever see me walking down the hall, look the other way, because you’re out of control. … You’re a hater, and you’re just unattractive inside. Who would do such a thing? … Give me a code violation because I expressed my emotion? We’re in America last time I checked. Really, don’t even look at me, don’t look my way.”
Only in tennis would athletes get away with this kind of umpire sass. Williams was fined $2,000, but in any other sport she would have been ejected. Asderaki absorbed it all, however, with a stoic grace, never losing her own composure as I would have. (“I’m getting advice from someone dressed like Betty Boop?”).
But this is nothing new for Asderaki. Consider this meltdown directed at her by Victoria Azarenka in the fourth round at Wimbledon in 2009:
“How can you not see the ball?”
“You cannot see anything. You guys have so much power to just ruin the whole match.”
Until researching clips for this column, I had no idea what preening, annoying little divas female tennis players can be. Umpires like Asderaki not only need the power to deduct points from players who b***h and argue, but they should be allowed to spank them: Right at center court, with a team of ballboys holding down the offending player and the chair umpire using the player’s racquet as a paddle. Actually that would boost ratings more than anything Williams could bring in.
This is not to say the men’s players are any better. It’s just odd to see athletes completely teeing off on officials, with the latter just calmly taking it. Is there no chair umpires union? If not there probably should be.
Through it all, though, Asderaki abides. I wouldn’t mess with her, actually. Look at this:
Yes, I think I love you, Eva Asderaki. The Hawk-Eye high-speed video camera tracking system may replace you in the chair one day, but never in my heart.
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Rick’s Cafe American appears on Thursday. Contact: Rickchand@gmail.com.
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- southernpatriots - Sep 15, 2011 at 7:18 PM
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An interesting article and point of view. However, this member disagrees, though we all see the humor. Serena has practiced this ranting over and over again. Two days later she issues an explanation, justifying her rant, but not apologizing to the object of her rantings. Enough is enough. Anyone whom we know who watches women’s pro tennis, we will let them know of her repetitive behavior. We doubt they will watch her again. We know we won’t. We will quickly scan past any program or match that may be on television. If women’s pro tennis fans and all would boycott Serena, advertisers would get the message and tv execs would too.
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- wmssisrock - Sep 16, 2011 at 3:22 PM
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What if Eva Asderaki was Black and Serena Williams was White? Wonder what you would have written then?
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- mojowheelz - Sep 16, 2011 at 11:16 PM
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What an ill informed comment. Making this incident about race only makes you look like a moron. Nowhere in this article is race mentioned, because it had nothing to do with the call against Serena. The call had everything to do with the rules, and the fallout had everything to do with level of class. The umpire had it and Serena does/did not. As a matter of fact, the article shows that the umpire is consistent in how she treats all players. Maybe Serena should read the rules of the sport in which she participates. The comments Serena made after the match about not knowing about the rule she broke were unbelievable. All a person had to do was watch the replay to see that it was clearly a foul. A rule was broken, the rule was enforced…end of story.
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- goforthanddie - Sep 17, 2011 at 3:49 PM
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What if you weren’t a moron and had something intelligent to add? Shame we’ll never know.
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- reneeone - Sep 16, 2011 at 4:55 PM
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You’d never know Eva and Serena are the same age…Eva is so professional and classy, and Serena acts like a sore looser 13 yr. old.
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- justlee3 - Sep 16, 2011 at 10:43 PM
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“Until researching clips for this column, I had no idea what preening, annoying little divas female tennis players can be.”
Wow–that’s unbelievably sexist, so I hope you were being sarcastic. And yeah, ’cause McEnroe and Conners never said anything to umpires or linesmen/women, only Serena.
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- Rick Chandler - Sep 17, 2011 at 3:01 AM
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So I guess in your blind rage, you failed to see the sentence that followed: >>This is not to say that the men’s players are any better.<< It's right there, in the same-sized font as the rest of the column! I even linked to a story about Federer throwing a hissy fit.
I await your sloppy apology.
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- goforthanddie - Sep 17, 2011 at 3:48 PM
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Stupid people need to stay offline, mmkay?
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- limonlady69 - Sep 17, 2011 at 2:27 AM
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I might add a whole slew of players during the McEnroe, Connors era were not only nasty to the empires, but to the audience as well if things did not go their way. Mr. Chandler you appear to be drooling and the comments about the female players was indeed demeaning. I am sometimes amazed at the posters who dump praise on one individual and brand another as classless. The woman was losing, was angry and thus showed her emotion. This is a game of tennis, not church. That comment about the method of dress was also uncalled for, even though I do not like many of Serena’s tennis outfits. Betty Boop, please chandler give it a rest already and continue drooling over Eva.
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- Rick Chandler - Sep 17, 2011 at 3:04 AM
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Madam, say what you want about me. But I will not sit idly by while Betty Boop is being maligned. Droolingly yours, etc. etc.
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- limonlady69 - Sep 19, 2011 at 12:18 AM
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ROFLMAO
