Wakeup Call: Rex Grossman says, ‘I have to lose maybe five or six pounds’

Here comes the Washington Redskins’ starting quarterback, Rex Grossman. Or, as Calamity Jane said on that episode of Deadwood as Mose approached: “What’s that, an eclipse?” After this Redskins training camp photo was passed around the Internets a few days ago, Grossman went on the radio and copped to being just a smidgen overweight. From Rumors & Rants:

The portly signal-caller told ESPN-980 AM in Washington D.C. that he was a little overweight, saying, “I’m gonna get down to where I need to be. I have to lose maybe five or six pounds.”

Come again? You only have to lose five or six pounds? Yeah, in your bra.

Look, it was a long and bitter lockout, and the specials at Long John Silver’s are especially tasty. So we can let Grossman slide this once. But now comes the hard work, and by losing “five or six pounds,” Grossman had better be talking per day. Otherwise, I am going to have to bring in my close personal friend to take charge of the situation:

And no one wants that.

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ABOUT LAST NIGHT

What you missed while decorating your beaver …

• Nine-year-old Philadelphia boy hit by alleged drunk driver after game near AT&T Park is improving.

• Kansas City Royals’ grounds crew member nearly swallowed by tarp.

• Hines Ward riding on top of the Batmobile. Wait, that’s not going to be in the movie, is it?

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TODAY IN MARK TRAIL …

Zorro now taking phone requests for vengeance.