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Week in Review: Banana still at large after brazen attack on guy in gorilla suit

Jul 8, 2011, 7:15 PM EDT

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Yes, today is the one-year anniversary of The Decision, in which LeBron James took Cleveland’s heart and stomped that sucker flat. But there were other, more dire things at work in that area of Ohio this week. Dire, stupid things. Headline from Fox 8 Cleveland:

Banana at Large After Attacking Gorilla in Strongsville.

Yep. We brought you this story earlier in the week, but let’s allow eyewitnesses to tell it:

“I noticed a kid in the bushes. Then he just emerged, dressed up as a banana, and sprinted as fast as he could at our gorilla,” said Brandon Parham, the manager. “The kid just speared our gorilla.”

Parham and another employee witnessed the attack.

“The kid was in mid-air, flying. He just looked like a Spartan from that movie ’300,’ except he was a banana,” added Parham.

The Wireless Center uses the gorilla as an advertising tool on Mondays, Tuesdays and Fridays.

“This is just bizarre. It’s really not normal of the food chain. That’s not really how this works. The gorilla should have won,” said Parham.

Video here.

But there were other stories this week, as insignificant as that sounds. Let’s take a peek:

That’s it for another week of fun and games. In a few hours please welcome Ben Chew, who will don his sports dominatrix costume and flog you with mirth until you beg for more. I’ll see you again on Monday, when we enter Tahoe Celebrity Golf Week! Until then, may the banana and the gorilla once again join hands in peace.