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Whoa! This U.S. army wrestling trophy may not be safe to view at work

Jun 22, 2011, 6:39 PM EDT

armycombattrophy

“I’ll take ‘suggestive sports trophies’ for $500, Alex.” Behold the 2010 Army National Guard Combatives Championships third-place trophy, which because I’m about as emotionally mature as a seventh-grader, is now my pick for the funniest trophy of all time. Wonder what you had to do to get first place? (Sorry).

As The Slanch Report points out, this wasn’t even legal in 2010, when they were still operating under Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. Apparently whoever was in charge of this tournament saw the final design for the trophy and decided not to ask.

And to Staff Sgt. Jacob Torrez, whose trophy this is, I take it all back. Please do not crush me into a fine powder.

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This trophy looks mildly suggestive [The Slanch Report]

  1. cleanslaton - Jun 23, 2011 at 10:58 AM

    A few one-liners:

    -That’s also the AVN trophy for best fellatio scene

    -Can’t the Army just give away a championship belt like WWE?

    -The 1st, 2nd, and 3rd place trophies, when placed on the trophy table side-by-side—-were running a train on each other.

  2. kyleortonsarm - Jun 23, 2011 at 4:05 PM

    This trophy is part of their initiative to being able to accept gays in the military. If they see this trophy of two men in an intimate situation with each other as a positive thing and a reward for their combat prowess and acting abilities (it is wrestling after all) then they’ll be more willing to take a bullet for a guy who wants to take them out to dinner.