Week In Review: Only the truly innocent Dodger fans shall be exonerated by Larry David

May 27, 2011, 7:42 PM EDT

As you probably know by now, Los Angeles police chief Charlie Beck says that his office “is satisfied” with the results of a police lineup that included Giovanni Ramirez, the chief suspect in the beating case of Bryan Stow at Dodger Stadium on opening day. The results are not being released, but but Beck did say that Ramirez “is and was and has been our primary suspect. I’m as sure as you need to be.”

Ramirez has said that he has never even been to Dodger Stadium, and this time, Larry David will not be able to help this Dodgers fan. In 2004, a suspect in a murder case was freed when a tape shot by the crew of the HBO show Curb Your Enthusiasm showed him in the stands at a Dodgers game, thus supporting his alibi. Pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pre-taaaaay good.

The 2011 news is not so good for Mr. Ramirez so far, however. Not only is his face (this mugshot is from his parole file — it’s not his booking photo) a dead ringer for a police sketch of one of the Stow assailants, but he seems to have tattoos that can also be identified by witnesses. Maybe. We’ll see. This is LA, where weird things happen in courtrooms.

Well, I’m now off to my favorite Japanese restaurant, where my nickname is “Teriyaki Chicken Boy.” But first, a look back at the week that was. BONZAI!:

If you’re babysitting your girlfriend’s kids, you probably shouldn’t tie and gag them in the garage so that you can go to a sports bar to watch the NBA Playoffs.

Knicks’ Renaldo Balkman mans lemonade stand to help kid whose parents both have cancer.

Florida arrest suspect is just a crazy girl out on the town.

♫ I know a certain NBA player who’s about to get a new nickname ♫ … #Kardashianed

Do you know how fast you were going, Mr. Busch?

Man attacks woman with pool noodle in watermelon dispute. That is all.’

Brewers’ Where’s Bernie? scavenger hunt becomes Lord of the Flies.

The return of the Always Enjoyable Giant Inflatable Beaver!

The return of the Always Enjoyable Giant Inflatable Samantha Steele!

Don’t bother me, I’m planking.

Signing off for now, but Rob Sylvester will be here in a few hours to soothe a troubled nation. Enjoy your weekend. Monday will be a light posting day, because I have to get to the bank and the post office to take care of some important business. Wait, what? …

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