Players, coaches remain undecided on Selig’s new plan to protect catchers
May 27, 2011, 3:38 PM EDT
It’s a roundup of the best fake sports news of the week from around the webs, now in easy-to-swallow capsule form! These stories are not real, but should be.
Baseball commissioner Bud Selig thinks this is his best idea yet, but will reserve making the bouncy castle a permanent fixture until observing results during a trial period in spring training.
“The home plate area in Major League Baseball has become a killing field of unimaginable carnage,” said Selig in a press conference on Thursday, perhaps overstating the case. “And since I am a visionary in the mold of, let’s say, Willie Wonka, I present baseball with these colorful bouncy castles.”
(Scattered applause).
When asked how the catcher is supposed to execute a tag, Selig demonstrated the front window netting flap, which is secured with Velcro. He was then led away and fed soup.
(Warning label on bottom of castle: Not to be used as permanent residence for Lenny Dykstra). – Off the Bench.
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‘Boom Goes The Dynamite’ anchor gets web redemption on Tosh.0. [Sports Grid]
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THIS WEEK’S HEADLINES:
NASCAR Awards Driver $50,000 For Homophobic Comments [The Onion]
Lakers erect statue of Kareem Abdul-Jabbar to coach Lakers [Tauntr]
Mike Brown accidentally sets Kobe Bryant on fire on first day on the job [Sports Pickle]
Excited Padres ask manager if Cardinals can sleep over [The Onion]
Tim Wakefield thinks catcher mocking him by calling another fastball [Real Fake Sports]
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Nowitzki fined $25,000 for ‘movie spoiler gesture’ [The Basketball Jones]
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Bulldorphins found in Lance Armstrong’s blood. [eTrue Sports]
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Last week in fake sports …
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Week In Fake Sports runs each Friday. Contact: Rickchand@gmail.com.
