May 3, 2011, 9:00 AM EDT
Last night I had a very vivid dream. An elite team of Navy SEALs flew two Blackhawk helicopters into Rashard Mendenhall’s residence. After encountering token resistance from the dog (neutralized by Snausages), the elite special forces team located the Steelers running back in an upstairs bedroom, where he was in the process of tweeting a friend (not a euphemism). The SEALs confiscated his cell phone — and all others in the house — and then departed as quickly as they had arrived.
So, hopefully, there will be no further retarded tweets such as this:
5:37 p.m.: “We’ll never know what really happened. I just have a hard time believing a plane could take a skyscraper down demolition style”
5:58 p.m.: “I’m not convinced he was even behind the attacks we have really seen no evidence to prove it other than the gov telling us”
6:28 p.m.: “For those of you who said you want to see Bin Laden burn in hell and piss on his ashes, I ask how would God feel about your heart?”
6:29 p.m.: “There is not an ignorant bone in my body. I just encourage you to #think”
I agree with that last sentence. And I right now I think I’m going to unfollow Rashard Mendenhall.
UPDATE: Steelers president Art Rooney II checks in on Mendenhall’s tweets.
ABOUT LAST NIGHT
Speaking of stupid bin Laden tweets …
- “Organizers of the World Long Nose Championships are looking to pick new entrants.’
- UFC Hall of Fame fighter Matt Hughes being investigated by cops after woman reports suffering a broken nose inside an Illinois bar.
- Mets will give 4,000 free tickets to tonight’s game with Giants to members of the military. #winning.
TODAY IN MARK TRAIL …
Someone is unclear on the concept of the term “clean-cut” …
- So long folks, it’s time for me to take off 18
- Man wins full marathon while pushing his daughter in a baby stroller (video) 14
- Lock and load, it’s youth baseball fundraising time: league raffling off AR-15 rifle (video) 8
- Sim Bhullar is a large basketball player, and I mean it. Anybody want a peanut? 0
- What’s with kids and all these death-defying stunts? 674
- Nothing to see here…just a 70-yard field goal by a high-schooler (video) 3
- None found