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Wake Up Call: How did Subway know that Mark Ingram was going to the Saints?

Apr 29, 2011, 9:00 AM EDT

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Mark Ingram

Cynics among us would say that the ‘S’ on the chest of this chicken salad sculpture is for ‘Subway.’ But I happen to think that Subway was tipped off — or Jared has magical prediction powers — going into Thursday’s first round of the NFL Draft. How did they know to put a golden ‘S’ on the chest of their new spokesman, ‘Bama running back Mark Ingram, who would end up going to the New Orleans Saints with the 28th pick? This sculpture was made a day before the draft.

Alabama RB Mark Ingram, projected top running back in the 2011 NFL Draft, takes a bite out of his larger-than-life statue made of SUBWAY Orchard Chicken Salad, Thursday, April 28, 2011, in New York, to celebrate his new partnership with the sandwich chain. The sculpture, made by artist James Victor of Conshohocken, Penn., weighs 40 pounds and includes SUBWAY Orchard Chicken Salad ingredients

By the way, I’m quite impressed with the narcissism levels Ingram displayed by spending his draft day eating a giant statue of himself, which puts him in a crazy brain stratosphere normally reserved for Deion Sanders or Chad Johnson.

I like to imagine Ingram woke up on the biggest day of his life, grabbed his cell phone and thought, “Hmm. Who do I wanna eat that chicken salad sculpture made of myself with? Mom? Dad? NAAAAAH! JUSTIN TUCK!”

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ABOUT LAST NIGHT

What you missed while grooming your monkey beard

  • From Fark.com: “Witnesses in Florida report seeing a UFO the size of a football field. They didn’t notice an end zone on it, suggesting the UFO is from Michigan.”

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TODAY IN MARK TRAIL

Wait, what the hell is going on in Panel 3? Mark has time traveled to the 1970s!