The stars, they’re just like us: Matt Hasselbeck tosses football in parking lot

Oh ye wayward millionaires of the NFL, without your heated indoor practice facilities and team-provided personal trainers, where will you go to hone your craft? High school practice fields and mall parking lots, apparently.

After Greg Olsen of the Chicago Bears was kicked off the Stevenson High School practice field one day this week by a gym teacher doing his job, the Seahawks incumbent QB told ESPN that he and his top tight end target John Carlson have been reduced to chucking the pigskin around in local parking lots. How chic. I can only hope they were pausing frequently to chug solo cups full of foamy Bud Light from a keg while hollering at female passers by in short skirts and listening to aggressive music at an unreasonably loud level. On an unrelated note, I miss college.

“I was throwing in a parking lot with John Carlson, our tight end,” Hasselbeck said. “I’m throwing in a parking lot in front of a Goodwill store and a mattress store in the rain, and people are like ‘can’t you go find a high school field?’ You have no idea what it’s like to get kicked out of a high school field by like a gym teacher, so I’m just going to stick to the parking lot.”

I guess what happened to Mr. Olsen at Stevenson High is just par for the course then.

Anyways, keep an eye out next time you’re at your local Bed Bath & Beyond or grocery store or illegal outdoor black market– you never know who could be doing what in the parking lot… and for once, we’re not talking about that hobo with the shifty eyes behind the Subaru. You don’t know want to know what he’s doing. Especially if that’s your Subaru.

And, if you should happen on any displaced NFL’ers practicing in your neighborhood, go ahead and snap a pic and send it in to us here at Off the Bench. Until this lockout thing is over, we can help give these poor guys a home.

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Matt Hasselbeck Practicing with John Carlson in a Parking Lot [Larry Brown Sports]