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Wake Up Call: That’ll do, cow. That’ll do

Apr 8, 2011, 9:00 AM EDT

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cowjumping

Perhaps you’ve already heard the story of Regina Mayer, the teenager from southern Germany who always wanted a jumping horse. Her parents wouldn’t get her one, so the 15-year-old did what you or I would do: she started riding a cow. Named Luna, the cow “thinks it’s a horse,” according to Mayer.

Now, Luna understands commands such as ‘go’, ‘stand’ and ‘gallop’ — when she feels like it.

“It’s a lot of work, but I enjoy it. When she wants to do something she does it, when she doesn’t, she doesn’t. And she is often very headstrong but can also be really adorable.”

Not sure about Germany, but the history of the U.S. would be quite different if there had been no horses, and we replaced them with cows. “We’re forming a posse to go after the Cavendish gang, and we’re going to leave at sunup … or maybe by noon, whenever the cows feel like it.”

So the next time you feel small or out of place or that something is out of reach, think of Regina Mayer and Luna. And if you go out riding, you may not get home in time for curfew. But at least you’ll have some milk.

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ABOUT LAST NIGHT

What you missed while observing just another typical day in Lakeland, Fla.

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TODAY IN MARK TRAIL …

Female sea horses are sluts.