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The Name of the Year competition is here to soothe a worried nation

Apr 7, 2011, 5:48 PM EDT

nameoftheyear02

Earthquakes, government shutdowns, deadly poisonous escaped zoo cobras; we have a lot to worry about right now. Fortunately, the Name of the Year tournament is here to take our minds off of all of that. And what a glorious competition it’s shaping up to be this year.

The bracket is out (see below), and all that remains is the voting. But I wouldn’t be surprised to see some upsets in the early rounds. Take the Dragonwagon Regional, for instance: Monsterville Horton IV, who any other season could be expected to cruise into the Final Four, is only a No. 11 seed. And in the Crotchtangle Regional, Yu Arafuka is only a No. 4. He’ll be going up against No. 13 Neptune Pringle III in an early clash of titans.

In the Bulltron Regional, Monquarius Mungo has drawn a No. 1 seed, but the dark horse is no doubt No. 6 Ebenezer NooNoo, who could surprise the experts. Also, how can you not like the first-round matchup between Madz Negro and Judy Graham Swallows?

The beauty of Name of the Year — popularly referred to as NOTY — is that all the names are real. Monquarious Mungo, for instance, was arrested in Charlotte, NC recently for skateboarding on private property. Atticus Disney is a wrestler from Cal Poly San Luis Obispo, and La’Peaches Pitts is a South Carolina bridesmaid. All have been collected from various walks of life and arranged meticulously in the brackets you see below. It’s the only tournament that matters, in my opinion, besides NCAA basketball, and Miss Russian Army.

And now, the people must decide. Voting on first-round matchups begins “soon,” according to the website, but have no fear: we’ll keep you informed.

A closer look at the bracket here.

  1. lewp - Apr 7, 2011 at 10:01 PM

    Vernon Lee Badmarriage Jr is my pick to go all the way…!!