Cowabunga! Two-headed Magdalena shows what a mutant turtle actually looks like

Alright, so she’s a tortoise, not a turtle, but work with me here. In a bit of genetic tomfoolery that would make Master Splinter proud, Magdalena is a two-headed, five-legged creature who lives in Slovakia, where she most likely spends her time eating grass, sleeping, and waiting for someone to finally kill her (I’m not pro tortoise euthanasia per se, but sometimes you just have to admit a mistake). From CBS News, who are doing their damned best to keep us all up on the truly important things in the world:

According to zoologists, Magdalena’s unique case is comparable to conjoined twins where during pregnancy two embryos do not separate correctly.

As a result, Magdalena has two brains, each with their own nervous system.

Sort of like the Olsen twins, then.

In a cryptic bit of reporting, the CBS account ends with “she has been chosen to tip off hockey fans [in Slovakia] with who will win the Ice Hockey Championship this year.” Right head bite, Bratislava. Left head bite, Kosice!

Who needs a psychic octopus when you have a tortoise with two brains? No words if she knows any ninja tricks, but once ice hockey season is over, they should give training her (them?) a shot. Check out the video of Magdalena in action at the CBS page; I smell a big-budget movie sequel in the works.

Hell, maybe two.

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Meet Magdalena the two-headed, five-legged tortoise [CBS News]