Super Terrific Happy Hour: The Easton Decoy Car Cover is here
Mar 9, 2011, 3:10 PM EDT
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Introducing the newest feature on Off the Bench: It’s the Super Terrific Happy Hour, in which we gather the best of sports satire around the webs. To repeat, these stories are not real. But should be!
- (Lead story) MLB Automobile Safety Equipment. Easton Decoy Car Cover. Disguise your car as a place no one would ever go near! [Taunter]
- Peewee Football Player Retires To Spend More Time With His Mom And Dad. [The Onion]
- Charlie Sheen sets his sights on Sox. “I literally woke up and it was Christmas. I’m done with TV and want to get back to my first love, baseball. So I tweeted John Henry over in London and made him an offer for the Red Sox… and he’s taking it. He’s out. Between all his success with Liverpool and Roush Fenway Racing, the wiry billionaire’s got his hands full and wants to unload the little ballclub in Boston.” [Boston Dirt Dogs]
- (Above) Jim Tressel’s leadership through history [Sports Pickle]
- Car Blake Griffin Dunked Over Vows Revenge. [The Onion]
(Right) Goodyear Cancels Ad Campaign on Barry Bonds’ Head. Goodyear Blimp has cancelled a multi-million dollar deal to put Goodyear ads on the side of Barry Bonds’ head, sources told eTrueSports. It is expected that testimony at Bonds’ upcoming U.S. District Court perjury trial will reveal that illegal steroids helped grow his expansive, perfect-for-advertising noggin. [eTrue Sports]
- LeBron Hits Clutch Go-Ahead Shot With 8:22 Left In 1st Quarter. [Real Fake Sports]
- Sheen publicist curses, quits, exits on emergency chute. American folk hero: ‘Enough is enough.’ [Bad Reporter]
- (Above) Star Sports. [Atom.com]
- (Above) The heartbreak of trading your son to another family. [Basketbawful]
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For super terrific fun wash, send satirical sports musings to Rickchand@gmail.com. Can we do any less?
