So not everyone was enamored of my column this week, in which I pointed the glaring light of investigative journalism on Dallas’ vital need for additional strippers. With the Super Bowl looming, the area is short about 10,000 lap dancers, according to some estimates. One club alone put out a call for an additional 150 girls. I imagined a great migration of exotic dancers heading toward North Texas; just as the Chinese and the Irish showed up in droves to work on the transcontinental railroad in the 1860s.
Then, I got this email:
Hey, it’s Mike Precker, former reporter/editor/humor columnist for The Dallas Morning News, now PR/marketing guy for The Lodge. Stop by if you’re in town. Very fun story, but you know it’s nonsense. As I tell inquiring reporters, we don’t hire temps for the Super Bowl because we already have the country’s best entertainers, it’s not fair to people who work here all year, and outside people who are out to make a killing for one weekend may not have the best interests of your club at heart. But that’s too nuanced. “STRIPPERS AND HOOKERS FLOCK TO SUPER BOWL! FILM AT 11!” is much more fun.
Here’s a little background on our humble emporium you might enjoy. Really, drop by.
Cheers,
MP
He also sent other links, which we’ll share with you later. I won’t be able to take Mike up on his offer, sadly. But our Off the Bench Super Bowl correspondent, Lew Patton, has been given this assignment, and has cleared his calendar. So prepare for all kinds of intense strip club journalism next week.
What? There were other stories? Do tell.
- Is Lindsey Vonn tougher than Jay Cutler? A sports physical therapist compares their respective MCL injuries, and renders her opinion.
- It’s the age-old battle between the U.S. government and the marijuanapult. Who will win?
- Indiana’s governor had better things to do than watch Obama’s State of the Union address. Like, watch Purdue-Ohio State basketball.
- Step 1: Wear Packers tie to your job as a Chicago car salesman. Step 2: Refuse to take if off when your boss objects. Step 3: Get fired. Step 4: Profit.
- There’s going to be a college basketball game played on the deck of an aircraft carrier. It will be docked, I hope.
- It would have been a great Super Bowl, except for all the grackles.
- Another year, another load of Jets’ championship shirts headed to Nicaragua.
- Burning your Jay Cutler jerseys seems like a reasonable response to Sunday’s outcome.
We’ve just sounded the all-clear, and we are no longer at battle stations. The deck is now free for college basketball. Be sure to check in with Rob Sylvester this weekend, and ladies, practice your stripping. You never know. (And what the hell; you guys, too).
