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Shaq seeks playing time elsewhere; defeats 7-year-old in cookie eating contest

Jan 19, 2011, 2:48 PM EDT

2 Comments
shaqlicki

As the gigantic man I will deem “The Attention Grifting Juggernaught” slowly yet surely ambles toward the finish line of a magnificent career that is getting soiled by his inability to retire, with it comes the apparent realization that he has spent not nearly enough of his time in the public eye defeating 7-year-old girls in cookie eating contests.

So following in the footsteps of the indomitable Eli Manning and his more loquacious brother Peyton, Shaq sold out to the Oreo racing league for some free cookies and a fresh new ‘league laughingstock’ badge. Generations upon generations will be telling tales of Shaq’s licking prowess for days, I tell you.

Oreo spokesjock Shaquille O’Neal won by a lick during an Oreo Double Stuf Racing League cookie-eating contest at the Prudential Center’s food court yesterday. Seven-year-old Maya Schauber of Mashpee took on No. 36 in a test of twisting, licking and dunking — a subject Shaq knows a little something about. Now, that doesn’t seem quite fair.

http://c.brightcove.com/services/viewer/federated_f9?isVid=1

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Shaq takes a lickin’ [Boston Herald]

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  1. 1historian - Jan 21, 2011 at 3:31 PM

    josiah – you have no sense of humor, you sound more than a little jealous, and I feel sorry for you.

    If you want some laughs go find the video of Shaq conducting the Boston Pops.

  2. goforthanddie - Jan 21, 2011 at 5:02 PM

    Maybe you shouldn’t write about people you have an obvious bias against. I’d rather read 10 stories about “Shaq being Shaq” than one more whine-fest from the Miami Threego or Mr. Vasquez lying his way through yet another interview.

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