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Wake Up Call: Rebel without a clue

Dec 22, 2010, 9:00 AM EDT

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parishiltonbike

“Um, why isn’t this thing moving? Oh, it is? Wheeeee!” You’ve probably thought of a much funnier caption by now. Also, dear, I’m no racing expert, but I believe you’re supposed to hold the handle bars. Anyhow, as you may know, Paris Hilton bought into Sergio Gadea and Maverick Viñales’ Moto 125cc grand prix team a while back, and with that comes certain privileges, I guess. Like this custom bike, and a photo op. Hey, vampires need blood to survive; Hilton needs the photo op. According to Deuce of Davenport, she “intends to make as many races as possible.” Which means, thankfully, none.

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ABOUT LAST NIGHT

What you missed while assembling your crack government WTF team

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TODAY IN MARK TRAIL …

Damn Al Qaeda … now they’re using talking pelicans.