Dec 13, 2010, 5:56 PM EST
Fifa president Sepp Blatter would like to welcome you to Qatar in 2022, promising a World Cup “without boundaries.” Except of course for this small list of rules (unfurls thick scroll, which rolls off the podium, down the aisle and through the door). Among the things you shouldn’t do in that tiny, scorpion-infested theocracy during the Cup: gay sex. Blatter said that homosexual fans “should refrain from any sexual activities” that are illegal in Qatar. From the Huffington Post:
Drinking alcohol also is restricted in the country, but Blatter hopes soccer’s universal appeal will bridge cultural differences at the 2022 World Cup.
“It’s another culture and another religion, but in football we have no boundaries,” said Blatter, who was in South Africa for the official closing of the 2010 World Cup. “We open everything to everybody and I think there shall not be any discrimination against any human beings, being on this side or that side, left or right or whatever.
“Football is a game that does not affect any discrimination. You may be assured … if people want to watch a match in Qatar in 2022, they will be admitted to matches.”
Unless they are this guy.
Look, I thought that getting riotously drunk and having homosexual sex was the only reason people attended the World Cup in the first place. I would say boycott the 2022 Cup and don’t even watch it on TV, except for this: I want to see the police wade into a mob of English or German fans and try and take way their beer. And since all TV will likely be 3D by then, that’s even more of a draw.
The sex thing? Police battering down hotel room doors on tips that gay sex may be occurring would be a total disaster for Fifa, and assure that the Cup is held in Europe until the end of time. And it’s not like people are going to be going at it in cars in the parking lot; it’s 110 degrees at night.
In fact, I can’t imagine anyone, gay or straight, wanting to attend that World Cup at all. It’s going to be mighty expensive for Qatar to pay seat-fillers to make those 12 new stadiums seem full.
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- None found