The Big Ten announced today that, due to safety concerns, only one end zone will be used for offense during Northwestern’s clash with Illinois on Saturday. So in other words, it’ll be just like any typical Duke game. (Hello? Is this thing on?).
Apparently someone at Big Ten headquarters was drinking their morning latte and perusing Out of Bounds when they saw the photo to the right … and thought, ‘An outcropping of bricks just inches from the back of the end zone? Yikes.’
Of course, a point could be made that Northwestern and Illinois don’t need end zones in the first place. (Taps mic. “Hello?”).
So here’s what’s gonna happen: Each time a team gets the ball on offense, it will be positioned to head toward the west end zone (the one without the Wall of Doom). From ESPN:
“It was something we’ve all had some concerns about in regard to the closeness of the right-field wall at Wrigley Field, so a decision was made with both coaching staffs and the athletic directors of both schools and the [Big Ten] commissioner to start every offensive possession and go west,” Illinois sports information director Kent Brown said on “The Waddle & Silvy Show” on ESPN 1000.
Other game features:
- Cows, goats to be pastured in east end zone to pick up a little extra cash.
- Three-alligator rush on all plays on east side of the field.
- Field to be slightly tilted so all punts roll away from dangerous side.
- Irate Bugs Bunny to pop up from rabbit hole near 40-yard-line demanding directions to Albuquerque.
- On turnovers that result in runs toward the east end zone, player must stop and return ball to offense.
- Schmucks who paid for tickets on east side of the field will see no game action, but will receive coupon for half-price hot dogs (2 per person).
Nicely done, Big Ten Conference. Now, how about a baseball game on top of the Sears Tower?
***
End zone safety limits Wrigley [ESPN]
The end zone at Wrigley Field; what could possibly go wrong? [Out of Bounds]
