Week 3 of the Mascot Power Rankings, in which we rank the top 10 mascots in sports in terms of newsworthiness, style and general awesomeness.
1. Beast From the East, Toms River (NJ) Little League.
Toms River East American reached the Little League World Series three times in five years during the 1990s, culminating in a world championship in 1998 (a 12-9 win over Kashima, Japan). They even had a nickname, The Beast From the East, and their own mascot; a guy in a gorilla suit who was “The Beast.” That man, Richard Cunningham, turned out to be a wolf in gorilla’s clothing, however. Cunningham, 53, was convicted on Friday of embezzling more than $200,000 from the league while acting as treasurer from 2003 through 2007. Among things The Beast spent the money on were trips to Atlantic City, a new Corvette and a mistress. “It actually hurt those kids who went to the World Series because they’re tainted with their mascot behind bars,” league volunteer Diane Castner said. “Beast behind bars — it’s a shame.”
2. Dinger, Colorado Rockies. (Last week: Unranked).
A disgruntled Rockies fan has written a letter to the Denver Post, demanding that the team’s purple dinosaur mascot, Dinger, be fired. His reasoning: 1.) Dinger’s antics are not creative nor funny. 2.) Dinger is a narcissistic creature who gets in the way of the game and “wants to be his own show.” 3.) Dinger is fat and promotes a poor-health lifestyle for kids. Plus, in the past Dinger has been accused of battery and “making distracting gestures.” Poor Dinger. Well, there’s always children’s television.
3. Chief Illiniwek, University of Illinois. (Last Week: Unranked).
The NCAA in 2005 declared Chief Illiniwek a cultural stereotype that was offensive to native Americans, and banned Illinois from hosting NCAA championship events until it disposed of the mascot, which it did in 2007. But now two factions are at war on campus; those who want Illiniwek back, and those who want a new sports mascot. The two groups clashed on Monday at the Next Dance fundraising event at Assembly Hall, sponsored by those who want the Chief to return. Can a student vote be on the horizon?
4. Keggy the Keg, Dartmouth University. (Last week: Unranked).
Created in 2003 when the student vote winner, a moose, was deemed unacceptable, Keggy has been a fixture at home football and hockey events dispensing school spirit and alcohol for the Big Green. Most notable achievements have been being interviewed by Playboy, and being referred to by Michael Wilbon as “That stupid beer thing” on PTI. Was infamously kidnapped in 2008, and later found in a storage closet.
5. Phillie Phanatic, Philadelphia Phillies. (Last week: No. 3).
Ryan Howard spent last Sunday afternoon at the Falcons-Eagles game, then hitched a ride across the street to Citizen’s Bank Park with the Phanatic for Game 2 of the NLCS, which the Phillies won. But overall, Howard struck out 12 times in 22 at-bats in the NLCS, causing Phillies fans to wonder if he shouldn’t have been taking things more seriously.
6. Vulcan, California University of Pennsylvania. (Last week: Unranked).
Police arrested the man who wears the Cal U-Penn Vulcan costume, James E. Shaffer, after he allegedly set a homecoming float ablaze on Saturday. Well, he IS the Roman god of fire. Cal U spokeswoman Christine Kindl said the school is treating the incident as a “private medical matter” and said Shaffer is being evaluated. “Right now, our main concern is for his health,” Kindle said.
7. Jaxson de Ville, Jacksonville Jaguars. (Last week: No. 4).
I had no idea that the Jacksonville Jaguars had a kick-ass, death-defying mascot until readers brought this to my attention. Debuting at No. 4 last week, here is one of Jaxson’s signature stunts, complete with sparklers no less. Here’s another view. Let’s see Tom Brady do that! And … dance-off with Paydirt Pete? Other facts from Jaxson’s home page: He’s been the Jaguars’ mascot for 12 years, he once consumed 56 pizzas during a single game, and that rappel off the scoreboard was from a height of 175 feet. He was also the first mascot to travel overseas to visit our troops.
8. Rufus the Bobcat, University of Ohio. (Last week: No. 6).
His vicious-but-clean tackle of Brutus Buckeye on Sept. 18 is already the stuff of legend … or at least T-shirts. Although now in exile, banned for life by Ohio University (which he didn’t even attend), Rufus has time to ponder: was it all worth it? Heck yes. In an interview following his dismissal, Rufus revealed that it had been his plan to tackle Brutus all along; plotting the attack as far back as mascot tryouts last year.
9. Bucky Badger, University of Wisconsin. (Last week: No. 7).
Recently we asked readers to vote between two videos; one featuring the Oregon Duck and one featuring Wisconsin’s Bucky Badger. Reader response was so overwhelmingly in Bucky’s favor that he was awarded a spot in this week’s power rankings. Now everyone can learn how to Bucky.
10. Artie the Artichoke, Scottsdale Community College. (Last week: No. 9).
Featured recently on HBO’s Real Sports with Bryant Gumble, Artie the Artichoke was voted in as Scottsdale Community College’s official mascot in 1973, beating out “Rutabagas” and “Drovers” in a student election. Proud students then claimed that the fierce thistle-vegetable is the only mascot that can double on game day as a party dip. Bonus: The football team is known as the Chokes, and has that nickname written on their helmets.
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Think that your mascot deserves to be ranked? Mascot Power Rankings depends greatly on your submissions. Send tales of mascot shenanigans, links and photos to Rickchand@gmail.com.
