Morning Tweet: Brother, can you spare a decorative ceiling-mounted light fixture?

For today’s example of Twitter greatness I was going to go with Shaquille O’Neal’s announcement that he is going to charge people $500 if they want him to follow them on Twitter. Just the knowledge that one of Shaq’s creepy IT assistants is reading my tweets makes this totally worth it. And the money goes to Haiti earthquake relief, so that makes it kind of OK. But then, this came along.
Jose Canseco’s latest message is an instant classic. When Twitter is dead and gone — and one day it will be — historians will point to this as the tipping point. It is at once insane and brilliant; a look into the dimly-lit mood lighting of a troubled mind. Print out this Canseco tweet and put it near your computer at work. Or tape it to your laptop at school. It will forever inspire you to greatness. It’s spelled “chandelier,” by the way.
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“Get out the time-fracture wickets, Hobbes! We’re gonna play Calvinball!” #Calvinandhobbeswisdom

ABOUT LAST NIGHT

What you missed during your raucous Punctuation Day celebrations …

* Zucchini; is there anything you can’t do?

* Wait, you needed more proof that Nick Saban is a jerk?

* Pirates highlights are much better if aged 50 years in a wine cellar.

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TODAY IN MARK TRAIL …
“Well, time to go murder a few of God’s creatures!”