The Texas Rangers wanted to entertain their fans last night by having a few skydivers from the Army’s Golden Knights program live Leonardo Da Vinci’s dream as they gracefully fall out of the sky, salute the crowd and make everybody feel warm and fuzzy. The human race has found a way to slow the rapid descent of gravity! Instead they got something infinitely more memorable, as one of the parachutists recreated that episode of Full House when Uncle Jessie got stuck in a tree after attempting to skydive to his wedding and had to break his fall on a shipment of tomatoes. This time, in real life, our Golden Knight got stuck on a pole atop Rangers Ballpark and became a fleeting symbol of human futility.
Video following the jump.
From AP:
The Rangers said the unidentified jumper was uninjured after he unbuckled himself from the chute and dropped a few feet to a work platform on top of the scoreboard, the highest point of the stadium. The jumper could been seen walking away while his parachute whipped in the wind for several more minutes before being removed by stadium workers, who arrived quickly.
Now hold on a second. Anyone else notice how the staff sergeant manning the microphone didn’t stop everything she was doing and run up to save her fallen soldier as he helplessly dangles from that flagpole in center field in front 40,000? I thought the army left no man behind?
You know what would’ve been much better? If they instead had Indiana Jones fall out of the sky in a raft. Maybe the aliens he was abducted by in that movie about crystal skulls will let him out on a work release program.
***
Major malfunction: Parachuter snags self on Rangers’ flagpole [Big League Stew]
Skydiver gets stuck on Rangers Ballpark flagpole [Associated Press]
