'Lowbred': one man's struggle with a hot dog wrapper played out in three acts

Aug 8, 2010, 3:00 PM EDT

Big ups and a grateful hat tip has to first go out to the fine baseball blog Bugs & Cranks for compiling this gem of a photographic reconstruction of the troubles endured by one simple man in his quest to feast upon his hot dog during a recent Rockies-Pirates game at PNC Park in Pittsburgh. I don’t want to spoil it for you, but it takes the guy a whopping 14 minutes and 30 seconds to go from getting the hot dog in his hand, experiencing a mind-boggling amount of difficulty unwrapping it to finally dining on the ballpark staple.

During games at PNC Park, the Pirates mascot apparently fires free hot dogs into the crowd, much to the delight of hungry fans all over the stadium. I cannot fathom the brutal condition a hot dog shot out of what I imagine to be a variation of those t-shirt cannons would be in upon catching it, but this particular hot dog originally ended up in the broadcast booth, where Fox Sports Pittsburgh announcer Bob Walk then dropped into the hands of this unsuspecting Pirates fan. Once there, a camera was focused squarely upon this unwitting dolt as he toiled with the dang wrapper and hilarity ensued.
Act One (Bottom of the 3rd inning): Man is perplexed by bizarre foil-like exterior