St. Paul Saints to reveal the origins of mankind (while supplies last)

This year marks the 150th anniversary of Charles Darwin’s The Origin of Species, and there you sit once again having not purchased a single gift. No matter; if you’re within driving distance of St. Paul, Minn., you can get in on the sweet Charles Darwin/Cro-Magnon Man Spinning Bobblehead Doll action on Saturday. That’s when the Saint Paul Saints will be giving them out to the first 1,000 fans for their game with the Sioux City Explorers, and finally we can solve this creationism vs. evolution controversy once and for all.
I have a feeling which way it’s going to go, because this is the doll that God doesn’t want you to see, apparently. The Saints were supposed to give them out in June, but the ship bringing them here broke down between China and the U.S. Then a dock workers strike in Los Angeles kept them languishing in port for two weeks.

But now they’re here, and you can have fun pretending that one side is Alex Ovechkin, and the other is Andre Ethier. From the Saints:

“The events that have occurred to prevent us from distributing these spinning bobbles aren’t quite of biblical proportion, but we definitely had to think twice whether or not we would continue with the giveaway,” said Saints Executive Vice President/General Manager Derek Sharrer. “I’m not sure if this is simply the evolution of a great promotion, or if some greater force was preventing us from doing it.”

Promotions during the game will ensure that fun will be had by both sides. Those favoring creationism will have a chance to bob for apples. In the seventh inning, everyone will rest. For those on the evolution side, fans will be forced to adapt to their surroundings whether in the left field bleachers or hot tubs. They will honor the Saints evolutionary chain and some may participate in contest to find the best Tarzan call.