The National Enquirer, your most trusted source for Tiger Woods philandering news, is reporting that we could be looking at a pretty big celebrity wedding in the near future. Woods, says the Enquirer, wants to marry Rachel Uchitel (mistress No. 1) as soon as his divorce from Elin Nordegren is final. And, you know, have another little Tiger with her. Woods, however, is upset that Uchitel is on the show Celebrity Rehab. And Nordegren is furious at the implications for her children. Nordegren quote, according to the Enquirer’s source:
“There’s no way my children will start looking at that tramp as their stepmother! I won’t have it!”
The plot thickens (or thins, depending on your mood at this point).
Before you go getting all dismissive about the Enquirer, remember that they’re the ones who broke the Tiger-is-cheating story in the first place, with the rest of the media playing catch-up ever since. And they’ve been right about everything pertaining to the story so far.
But still, I wouldn’t go carving any of this in stone. As they say on Letterman’s Stupid Pet Tricks: “This is only an exhibition, not a competition. Please, no wagering.”
While Rachel hopes to kick her addictions to the prescription drug Ambien and alcohol on the VH1 series, the disgraced golfer is terrified that Rehab host Dr. Drew Pinsky will torpedo their romance, according to insiders.
“When Rachel told him that she was going to do the show, Tiger went ballistic!” disclosed an insider. “He’s embarrassed that the next Mrs. Tiger Woods will be known as a former drug addict, and he’s encouraged her to go into a private program. But he’s also worried that Dr. Drew will influence Rachel to leave him, and paint him as a loser who can’t be counted on in a serious relationship.”
Meanwhile, Elin is also spitting venom, according to the Enquirer. The divorce agreement, as I understand it, is that Tiger can’t bring any of his former floozies around the kids … unless they’re married. So, bring on the nuptials. Only one thing is certain; wherever the wedding is held, Joslyn James will find a strip club in which to perform nearby.
***
Livid Elin: ‘I won’t have it!’ [National Enquirer]
-
- Scott Cleveland - Aug 3, 2010 at 7:36 PM
-
Interestingly, I’ll wager most of the comments here are being made by fine Christians who are having trouble looking at the monitor because of the rather large plank protruding from their eye. For those not so well versed in Scripture, why not spend a little bit more time assessing your own faults and wrongs rather than assessing those of others. And for the rest of you, please let us know when you will next be walking on water.
-
- toosano - Aug 3, 2010 at 7:55 PM
-
What does the weather have to do with it?
-
- Carmen - Aug 3, 2010 at 7:58 PM
-
Elin needs to increase her divorce settlement amount for another two hundred millions if this is true!!!
-
- kevino - Aug 3, 2010 at 7:59 PM
-
Why does this sound like Charles/Diana/Camilla?
Same shit, different country.
-
- kevino - Aug 3, 2010 at 8:01 PM
-
Why does this sound like Charles/Diana/Camilla?
Same shit, different country.
-
- Seattle Guy - Aug 3, 2010 at 8:04 PM
-
You care. You read the article and took the effort to post a comment.
-
- Hugh - Aug 3, 2010 at 8:35 PM
-
Don’t they realize once a cheater, always a cheater? This is stupid on both their parts. If Rachael thinks Tiger will be true to her she’s as dumb as a rock. If Tiger thinks she will be successful in rehad he’s as dumb as she is…
Stupid is as stupid does…
-
- Mikeminnc - Aug 3, 2010 at 8:58 PM
-
You do. You took the time to read the article and comment here. So stop pretending you don’t care……
-
- Will - Aug 3, 2010 at 9:01 PM
-
“mud babies?” Dude… get a clue, get a life. Not much content of your “character” to judge you by, but I got a pretty good idea what you’re all about. You make Tiger and Rachel seem like decent folks by comparison.
-
- zogmeister - Aug 4, 2010 at 1:07 AM
-
It is a disgusting term applied to children with black heritage. The user of such a phrase is a flat-out bigot. I’m ashamed to share the country with him.
-
- gail - Aug 4, 2010 at 7:36 AM
-
You can’t convince me that anyone really thinks this is true. If there’s one thing Tiger likes more than strange action, it’s money, and he’s blown millions in endorsements, paying off the skanks, etc… If he hooks up with her, he’s done. If there’s anything his camp said to this pig about going on a rehab show, it was that if she talks about Tiger, she’s liable to return the 10MM he paid for her silence….
-
- BC - Aug 4, 2010 at 10:07 AM
-
Why the heck would he pick her? Out of the 121 mistresses, there HAD to be some that were better. Heck, that 21-year old neighbor of his that he hooked up with in his driveway was better!
-
- Lion Woods - Aug 4, 2010 at 10:31 AM
-
Tiger to marry his #1 mistress? Well since the Enquirer reported this crappy news story… it must be true. Geez.
-
- Naples Joe - Aug 4, 2010 at 11:33 AM
-
Then Dawn, WHY did you click on the link to Tigers story nd THEN comment on it?
-
- michael - Aug 4, 2010 at 11:44 AM
-
yet you did and even commented on it.
-
- Papi - Aug 4, 2010 at 11:44 AM
-
I will forever kiss my poster of Tiger in my parent’s basement.
-
- carol - Aug 4, 2010 at 12:01 PM
-
Maybe if Elin satisfied Tiger’s sexual desires then none of this would have happened. Maybe she was not very good in bed.
-
- Mark - Aug 4, 2010 at 12:43 PM
-
I do not know what is the matter with men like Tiger…..do they feel superior to women of their own race?
-
- Bill - Aug 4, 2010 at 12:59 PM
-
If someone said the term “cracker” would the same people that complained about the (disgusting) “mb” comment respond in kind?
-
- gregadd - Aug 4, 2010 at 1:54 PM
-
its one thing to muck rake the past. Predicting the future is far more difficult. Don’t write Tiger epitath to soon. The first break-up rarley takes. If the press would leave them alone maybe they could save this family. There are children involved.
-
- Big Daddy - Aug 4, 2010 at 2:05 PM
-
He a fool! Rachel a fool!
-
- j u - Aug 4, 2010 at 2:07 PM
-
hell,i want to marry her,and her mother
-
- Big Daddy - Aug 4, 2010 at 2:09 PM
-
It is a disgusting term applied to children with black heritage. The user of such a phrase is a flat-out bigot. I’m ashamed to share the country with him.
==========
You mean mean something like “honky” or “redneck”?
-
- Big Daddy - Aug 4, 2010 at 2:12 PM
-
And how were your latest black panther meeting?
-
- Big Daddy - Aug 4, 2010 at 2:19 PM
-
Where on him do you kiss?
