After miraculously squandering an insane amount of wealth earned by subjecting the world to his marginal brand of safe suburbs-friendly rap music, the man we once knew – and still do, despite the fact he hasn’t technically MC-ed anything in years – as MC Hammer, is setting his sights on a new, violent business endeavor: the development of a “brand building” Mixed Martial Arts management firm.
Hammer is the big name behind the development of Alchemist Management which will I am sure be the next big thing in MMA. Hammer will head up the operation as CEO with some other people you have never heard of serving as the President and Vice President of Business Affairs and General Counsel.
For the sake of everyone involved, would someone in his inner circle tell the aspiring MMA mogul: Please Hammer don’t hurt ‘em. The investors that is. Oh, and don’t worry, there are even more lame-brained references to Hammer’s rap career after the jump.
From MMA Junkie:
“I’ve been a fan of combat sports for years,” MC Hammer stated today in a press release. “MMA is the fastest growing sport in the world and this is a great opportunity for us to launch a full-service management company.
“Alchemist Management will leverage its relationships and resources for the benefit of fighters, the sponsors, and the industry at large.”
Sounds like quite the business plan. If I may, I would even say that Alchemist is the kind of business venture that is 2 Legit 2 Quit.
Roll your eyes all you want, even if you had your own sports blog, try as you might, as far as this post is concerned, U Can’t Touch This.
/shimmies back and forth in ginormous pants
//sits down, catches breath
///eats a microwaved burrito
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MC Hammer gets into the MMA business [MMA Junkie]
