Look, it’s the first thing our Founding Fathers wrote into the Constitution: You vomit on people at a sporting event, you go to prison (looks much more impressive in Lucida Blackletter font). Matthew Clemmens, the charming young Phillies fan from New Jersey who ralphed on an 11-year-old girl and her father during a game at Citizens Bank in April, has been given a free pass to the Graybar Hotel. Yep.
Clemmens was sentenced today to 1-3 months in prison, and the judge also ordered him to perform 50 hours of community service at Citizens Bank Park — cleaning the bathrooms and emptying trash. The judge says he wants him to clean the urinals as punishment for his offenses earlier this year.
Vomit Man timeline:
* April 15: Matthew Clemmens intentionally vomits on 11-year-old girl, man after complaints of his loutish behavior. Also punches and slaps the man, who happens to be an off-duty police captain. Some swings taken while still vomiting.
* April 16: Perky local reporter finds Clemmens’ home, knocks on front door. There is no answer, but a tasteful wreath is seen.
* April 19: Clemmens’ uncle charges to the defense of his nephew. Quote: He’s just a good boy who got sick.”
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Anyway, when the community service portion of Clemmens’ sentence kicks in — cleaning restrooms at Citizens Bank — I fully expect him to get a deal for a reality show.
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It’s always classy in Philadelphia [Out of Bounds]
Uncle of Phillies vomiter: Nephew ‘is just a good boy who got sick’ [Out of Bounds]
Enterprising reporter knocks on door of infamous Phillies vomiter [Out of Bounds]
Vomiting Phillies fan goes to jail [KYW1060]
