This story by AOL News contributor Ed Mazza, about Chinese roosters which are taught to play soccer, is baffling in its inconsistency. First Ed comes up with one of the greatest sentences seen in an online sports post, ever:
China’s Zhang Lijun hatched the idea in 2007, when she noticed her young cocks enjoyed playing with balls.
But then he lets fly with a series of sad, shopworn, cliche-riddled one-liners in subsequent paragraphs, such as:
This is no cock and bull story … unlike the sport’s prima donna stars in other soccer-crazy nations, her athletes work for chickenfeed … it could still cause problems between the birds and upset their natural pecking order … PETA says that far from being birdbrains, chickens and roosters are actually intelligent creatures.
In one short post, I went from worshipping Ed Mazza like a god, to wishing he would fall down a very deep, leech-infested well. Oh, but about the actual story:
A Chinese man has been training chickens to play soccer since 2007, and has made the sport somewhat of a spectacle in the Northern province of Shenyang. But, predictably, the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals is not amused.
While the sport may look harmless enough to outsiders — and is certainly an upgrade over the violence of cockfighting — it could still cause problems between the birds.
“If roosters are placed together in close proximity with no chance of withdrawing (and the photos we have seen are invariably of two roosters), their natural urge is to fight,” Ingrid Newkirk, president of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, told AOL News in a statement. “That urge is what is likely being exploited when a ball is placed near them — they kick while letting off steam and hit the ball after becoming agitated.
“It is possible to train a chicken or rooster to play ball, but placing roosters together at ‘sporting events’ in front of crowds is another matter,” said Newkirk. “Using animals in public venues, especially when bets are at stake, doesn’t usually end well for them and is seldom in their best interests.”
If they’d just teach the chickens to fake an injury every minute or so, problem solved.
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Chinese Cock Soccer Has PETA Crying Fowl [AOL News]
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- johnny - Jul 21, 2010 at 2:30 PM
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I am not able to breathe after reading this title.
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- Dan - Jul 21, 2010 at 2:46 PM
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How long before Little Rick Chandler gets picked up on loan?
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- Rick Chandler - Jul 21, 2010 at 7:09 PM
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Kramer: Yah! You see in Little Rick Chandler the unlimited future you once had. Now, just because Rick Chandler is a has-been, don’t make Little Rick Chandler a never-was!
